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NYC Mayoral Race Heats Up As Weiner Faces Opposition From Carlos Danger


            New York, NY: The race for New York City’s next mayor became even more confusing interesting on Thursday as disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner now faces opposition from a new entry into the race, his doppelganger Carlos Danger.


The stage is set in the race for mayor.

Weiner contends that Danger is the one responsible for sending the lewd texts that Weiner allegedly sent before and after he resigned from Congress for the scandal. Weiner contended in an exclusive interview with Newsweek in 2012 that he “felt like a different person,” but he “just could not hold back the Danger indefinitely.”

Carlos Danger has arisen on the NYC mayoral race as a major contender, especially in comparison to Weiner. Running as an independent, Danger stands in stark opposition to almost all of Weiner’s key platforms, but has stated that he and Weiner do agree on “poon” and “showing the ladies ‘the good stuff.’”

Although Danger is a very new entry into the race, he appears to be gaining traction with voters, with locals identifying with his “blunt honesty, especially when it comes to poon.” Danger still trails far behind current poll leader Christine Quinn, who commented on Danger’s entry into the race with a simple, “Come the fuck on. Really?”

Republican candidate John Catsimatidis, though initially in agreement with Danger on issues such as health reform and a woman’s right to choose, had to backtrack on the latter statement upon finding out that Danger’s official stance was that a woman had the right to choose “[his]dongle.”

“I really have no idea what is wrong with this guy,” said Catsimatidis. “I’ll give it to him that he’s charismatic, but he’s just really way too forward. I mean, you save the dick pick for at least a couple months in. And after coitus.”

Weiner has stated that he regrets sending explicit text messages to at least ten women, including three after leaving Congress in disgrace pledging that it would “never happen again.” According to updated polls from New York State’s New York City Research and Opinions Department, Weiner currently stands at 16% favorability, with Danger at 17%.

In other news, New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning either pledged his support of Anthony Weiner, or lampooned him, by naming his character Charles Peligroso in his upcoming action movie, “CopCop”.

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Patrick is a comedy writer living in Chicago. He enjoys writing articles that hopefully make people chuckle and think, "Hey, that was pretty alright." He does that here and he also does it over at Man Cave Daily. If you thought something he wrote was pretty alright, boy howdy he sure does appreciate it.

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