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Ideas About The Dark Knight Rises So Ridiculous That They Cannot Be Spoilers


We all hate spoilers when it comes to books, television, and movies. Even my family, who love asking questions about what’s going to happen to a character DURING THE MOVIE, hate it when I break down and actually tell them what’s going to happen to a character, even going as far as to tell them what’s going to happen to the character in the next five sequels. I can only say, “Sit still and watch what happens” to a couple in their 50s for so long.

It doesn’t matter if the spoiler is raving about how awesome a movie is, or if it is a review destroying the hopes and dreams of a fanbase that has been waiting to long for a movie that they start sending death threats to the critic.

In the case of Batman, you can’t even bring up the past until the credits roll for everyone, because the past comic book story-lines could very well be the present day’s story. If you talk about the Batman legacy in film and television or Batman’s dumbest moments, you may be spoiling future events in the Batman franchise for those not in the know.

If you are one of those people, you may want to stop reading now, because I am going to break down a character in The Dark Knight Rises in such a way that I would be either the most brilliant movie spoiler in Hollywood, or the most psychotic ultra-fan who doesn’t know how to live in the moment. That’s for you to decide. At the very least, we may want to get Rush Limbaugh to read this before he talks about Batman anymore.

The character? John Blake, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Who is he really? What part could he play in a continuation of the Batman franchise? Why am I asking questions?



If we didn’t all hear that this was the final movie of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, no one would second guess that Joseph Gordon-Levitt would be set to take on the role of Robin. He’s the young, upshot cop that would mesmerized by what is happening to Gotham, and sees that Batman needs a sidekick. Sure, it’s a change from the Dick Grayson story-line, but they tried that with Batman Forever and it didn’t work too well.

This doesn’t mean that this can’t be true. Christopher Nolan has had the gift of fitting two movies into each Batman film, either by his talent or because the bar fell into the Earth’s core when Batman and Robin was released. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if John Blake became the film version of Jason Todd and dies as soon as he becomes Robin.


The World’s Greatest Detective

You’d figure that, given the success of this last series of movies and the Batman franchise in general, someone is going to have to take up the mantle of Batman. Why not Joseph Gordon-Levitt? He’s a police officer, probably sees the order that he is a part of crumble before his eyes, and decides to take on crime in a less mainstream way. This Batman would need to be different, of course, and a police officer is usually striving to rise up the ranks to detective and beyond. Why not make this new Batman more mystery based than his predecessors? It would be a change that would make Bob Kane rise from his grave to give whoever the director was a nice pat on the back.

Another idea, thanks to a close fan-girl, Kim K., is that this set-up may give birth to the film version of Nightwing. This could be a safe bet, as it leaves this trilogy intact, but continues the story-line with another masked superhero.

There’s another side of this coin, however. There is the looming possibility that Joseph Gordon-Levitt takes on the Batman cowl before he is ready, has HIS back broken, and prompts Bruce Wayne to return as Batman. Stranger things have happened in comic books.


The Riddler

Like the idea of Joseph Gordon-Levitt becoming the next Batman because of his detective prowess, there is another possibility looming in The Dark Knight Rises. Detectives become obsessed with solving the riddles of crime and the human mind. Riddle me this: what could be more awesome than having The Riddler come from the pool of law enforcement that the criminal of conundrum strives to defeat? Oh, you think Bane is the main villain in this movie? Who’s pulling the strings, trying to solve the riddle of the human mind that Heath Ledger as The Joker merely asked in The Dark Knight?

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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