An Idiot’s Guide to College Sex Week

| February 9, 2012 | 0 Comments

When it comes to the word “sex”, the dirtier mind comes to certain conclusions no matter what other words are attached to it. Take the phrase, “Carnal Misinterpretations of Sex Week.” What word takes over your brain? Sex, of course. We’re all interested in it. Countless books and films have been released on the subject: what it is, how to do it, how to get it, how to pretend to get it in the privacy of your own home.

So when one learns about Sex Week at Yale University, many ideas about what that actually means comes to mind. A college campus overrun with naked co-eds running around trying to get laid is by no means too far from the truth.

Unfortunately, this is not to be. Sex Week is a week of education, with seminars and lectures in classrooms instead of bedrooms, and no nakedness to speak of. So, in order to squash any misinterpretations of what Sex Week at Yale University is, here are some events taking place this week at Yale, what most of us wish they were, and what they really are.

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Sex Geek Chic! Hosted by Reid Mihalko with Bawdy Storytelling

"Sexy Librarian" by Max Johnson with model Victoria Dagger

What It Sounds Like: Maybe this is a class on how to find sexy geek chicks that love to play video games with you and have no qualms about dressing up in a Lara Croft, Tomb Raider outfit for the fun of it. The “sexy librarian” references have been around for a while, even before the Tears for Fears video for “Head Over Heels”. This fantasy has shared time with teachers as well. Apparently a curvaceous woman with glasses plays into the classic Oedipus Complex, which has since simplified into young men gaining an “older woman” syndrome that has awoken a generation of cougars. Of course, brainy, hot professional women have also helped in this fantasy.

What It Is: Those quirky kids on campus that share time in the English and Drama departments read a few short stories about having sex with vampires, or how they had met a super-model up at Lake George during the summer and had a 2-week affair with before being told that she must fly to Europe for a year to shoot a movie. This is then followed by Reid Mihalko, a guy who vaguely looks like your high school health teacher, telling you about penises and vaginas and how we should be comfortable with our bodies.

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What You Really Really Want: How to Pursue Sexuality in the Real World

What It Sounds Like: This class sounds like a live version of how to pick up chicks, and how to stumble into the sex zone. Volumes of books have breached the subject, but here we may be given live enactments about how to be suave, followed by homework exercises to use what you’ve learned for the weekend dorm parties coming up.

What It Is: A decent-looking author, Jaclyn Freidman, helps us dig into why we really want sex emotionally as well as physically, and probably has to wake up the men in the audience by screaming “titties” every once in a while.

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Fornication 101 with Oh Megan!

 

What It Sounds Like: This must be the gym class of sex. Where do you put it? How do you put it? How can you make her squeal like a coyote and still maintain focus? All of these things would obviously be explained, shown, and re-produced during rigorous exercises with your lab partner, or “Oh Megan!”, who must be a beautiful sexual trainer of some sort.

What It Is: Megan Andelloux, certified sexologist, sexuality educator and the Director of the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, will examine how people experience the erotic and express themselves as sexual beings with an emphasis on jollies, attitude awareness, and sexual skill building. Unfortunately, you must leave it in your pants during the class.

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Stripped Stories

Courtesy of Rick's Cabaret NYC

What It Sounds Like: This must be a storytelling class where local strippers entertain us with arousing stories about their escapades in and out of the club, along with re-enactments. I think it would be like Diary of Angry Stripper, except not so angry.

What It Is: Writer/comedians Giulia Rozzi (MTV, VH1.com) and Margot Leitman (Late Night With Conan O’Brien, UCB) host this themed night of hilarious sex stories. While this may be very close to what we’ve anticipated, there will be other entertainers sharing the stage, some which may be in line with what is unfortunately found at the other end of a phone sex hotline.

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While expectations may be a bit too high about Sex Week at Yale University, there is one fact that should entice both men and women to join in on these seminars and workshops: they’re all about sex, and that is always something worth learning.

Written by Patrick AE

Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man…. When he isn’t writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from bloodthirsty seals, and other activities that could be truths or lies, he’s probably writing at The Critics Den, Sports Jeer, or CBS’ Man Cave Daily.

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Category: Entertainment

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