Munich, GERMANY: The Nutrition Journal recently published a study that suggests that eating a large breakfast regularly can lead to weight gain. Meanwhile, the public, specifically the American public, has been told for three hundred years that the right way to start the day is with a big breakfast. Many have taken “big breakfast” to mean “eat so much that you can’t button your pants afterwards.”

The study was conducted by German researchers with unpronounceable names at the Else-Kroner-Fresenius Center of Nutritional Medicine in Munich – a city in Germany, as well as the title of a Steven Spielberg film starring the mostly forgotten Eric Bana. The research team followed the food intake of 280 obese and 100 “normal weight” subjects. Each of the participants was asked to keep detailed food diaries and the results were analyzed and recorded over a period of 10 days (obese participants) to 14 days (normal weight participants).

The research concluded, not surprisingly, that eating a larger breakfast in the morning led to an increased calorie intake throughout the day. It also suggested that starting the day off with a high-calorie meal would set the precedent for the entire day and lead to overall “hearty” eating patterns. The subjects on average ate 400 more calories in a day when they had a big breakfast.

“When somebody says ‘big breakfast,’ all I can think of is bacon, eggs, toast, hash-browns, bagels, canadian bacon, Lucky Charms, cinnamon buns, and leftover pizza,” says Nathan Birnbaum, 44, a portly gentleman from Long Island, New York. “That’s how I start my day. Otherwise, I’m Mr. Cranky Pants.”

Shelly Montgomery, a self-described “big, beautiful grit lover,” 37, of Sioux City in one of the Dakotas (North or South), agrees. “If I don’t consume at least 1,000 calories for breakfast, I can’t function. I need my bacon and grits! Don’t you mess with my bacon and grits!”

Instead of consuming a bigger breakfast, healthy is what counts, according to physicians. Skipping breakfast entirely is also not a good option either. Instead, doctors suggest following the guidelines on Mayo Clinics website that state:

“When you eat a healthy breakfast, you are more likely to:
• Eat more vitamins and minerals
• Eat less fat and cholesterol
• Have better concentration and productivity throughout the morning
• Control your weight
• Have lower cholesterol, which may reduce your risk of heart disease”

“Healthy is boring,” says Birnbaum. “I’m sticking with my current breakfast!”

“Take away my bacon and grits and I’ll burn your house down”, stated Shelly Montgomery. “Leave the healthy stuff to the hippies.”

Editors Note: Birnbaum and Montgomery are now deceased, due to untimely heart attacks.

By J-Sin