Pittsburgh, PA- Ben Roethlisberger, the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback and sex offender, was slapped in the face yesterday during a game by Raiders defensive lineman Richard Seymour. The slap came at the end of a play when Roethlisberger approached Seymour and began shouting in the ear of the lineman. Seymour responded by striking the perverted quarterback in the face and getting ejected for his actions. Women everywhere are rejoicing.
“Thank God somebody bitch-slapped him,” said Stephanie Hersch of Manhattan. “He deserved it. Richard Seymour is awesome.”
“Yeah,” agreed Hersch’s friend, Debbie Montgomery. “I mean, come on – Ben Rapistberger has been accused of sexual assault twice in the last year and is still playing in the NFL. The least they can do is slap him around some.”
“Actually, I’ve been accused of sexual misconduct on more than two occasions,” Roethlisberger responded in an interview. “But that’s not the issue here. The issue is that Richard Seymour slapped me and I think that he should pay a huge fine. Also, he should apologize.”
“I’ll apologize when he stops raping people,” said Seymour.
As of this writing, the NFL is considering fining Seymour for “Bitch-Slapping a Defenseless Rapist.”