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Favre Doth Protest: That Giant Penis Isn’t Mine!

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“Stop the presses”, Brett Favre says, “It’s not my penis!”

When Favre explained this to ESPN, we were listening. But we wanted details. What about the watch? The voice messages? Well, everything can be easily explained away, Favre says.

Favre, confused and showing his glaring lack of apocryphal knowledge, states that, in principle, no man would try to seduce a woman by showing her his massive weiner. He contends that a smaller, gentler weiner would be more attractive.

Brett Favre explains, “You never heard about Michael Jackson wanting a larger nose, did you? Women aren’t going to plastic surgeons for nose enlargements. And, interestingly, breast reductions are coming into vogue. So tell me then, why would I send pictures of that prehistoric weiner to a girl I was trying to seduce?”

When Favre was informed that, generally, the penis in the pictures is considered average sized at best and certainly not elephantine Favre protested. “Don’t debate with me about size. That’s one major dong. I’ve been on three NFL teams for over 20 years. Believe me, I’ve seen a lot of them.”

Ultimately, it will be up to Brett’s wife, Deanna Favre, to provide proof people will actually believe. “I have to side with my husband here, Brett’s penis is exceptionally small, even smaller than the one in those pictures. I don’t believe that sad penis belongs to my husband.”

With this statement Brett nodded in affirmation. “I love my wife. She loves my mini weiner. What else could a man want?”

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