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Andrews Lawsuits Replace 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon


Bristol, CT: In what seems to be her insatiable bloodlust for revenge in response to the shocking, life changing invasion of privacy (and increase in celebrity) she is still dealing with, Erin Andrews is suing yet another person in hererin andrews latest frenzy of litigation. Andrews, marginal celebrity before these events, is suing Ken Bianchi, friend of the son of the cousin of Michael David Barrett, the man accused of illegally taping Ms. Andrews.

   Andrews, claiming she was not entitled to special treatment during an ESPN interview, requested special treatment from the media in regards to the public viewing of her starring peephole role. When asked what she was suing Bianchi for she responded, “irreconcilable differences”. When told that this is typically a defense used in divorce cases Ms. Andrews cryptically said “Yes, it usually is, isn’t it?”

   Given the extremely complicated details of this case, prosecutors came up with a very sophisticated chart detailing the principals involved in the alleged felonious behavior (Fig 1).

   In an exclusive interview with TMZ, Ms. Andrews listed the following reasons she thinks Michael David Barrett should be executed: 

  • “He’s a peeping Tom!”

  • “My daddy said he’s a mean man.”

  • “I’m a little fat right now.”

  • “He reminds me of Chris Berman.”
  • “I’m prettier than Suzy Kolber so I want more publicity than she had with the Joe Namath thing.”
  • “I can go on and on, but do I really need to?”

Fig 1 – It has been very difficult for the media and prosecutors to follow the convoluted details of this case. Because of this, as a favor to Ms. Andrews and the prosecution, a son of one of the aunts of one of the jury members spent hours coming up with the following comprehensive chart:

lawsuit tree

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