Sacramento, CA: This week marked a great upset against the noble and knowledgeable Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Proposition 1A, an economic plan meant to strengthen a poor economy by spending at the worst possible time, was voted down by the majority of Californians.
Due to the failure to bolster tax revenue, the state of California had instated a plea to the federal government for financial aid. This also has met with resistance, both from the state of California legislature as well as Capitol Hill.
At his wit’s end, Governor Schwarzenegger has come up with a new agenda to heal California’s economic troubles: Proposition 8th Day.
With Proposition 8th Day, Governor Schwarzenegger plans to “eradicate the budget deficit by any means necessary.” Although its concept is vague, political aides have heard the governor’s rantings of a second coming of the action film age, but in politics.
“Last I saw him, the governor was screaming at the rest of his cabinet to get to some helicopter while he and his brigade attacked the deficit. We were a bit confused since he was all alone, wearing a camouflage thong, with no helicopter in sight,” stated political analyst Austin Hayes. “I think he added something to the effect of, ‘Come with me if you want to validate your parking.’ I’m not too sure.”
Another political aide, Cailey Messoun, was involved in an even more graphic encounter with the governor’s dementia. “I was meeting a colleague in the hall in order to go to lunch. All of a sudden the governor, wearing a silk one-piece running suit, screams ‘Get Down!’ and knocks us to the floor, explaining ‘The deficit! It’s everywhere!’ It was unnerving.”
It is now known that Governor Schwarzenegger’s “brigade” is none other than Hollywood veterans Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Steven Seagal. Under the governor’s guidance, the group plans to attack the deficit at its headquarters at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles. It is there that Governor Schwarzenegger will release oxygen for the rest of California, and bring about a new age of prosperity.