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Coach Obama Rallies for Dungy


   In a piece of news not wholly unexpected, Tony Dungy, head football coach of the Indianapolis Colts, retired Sunday after a 13 year coaching career. Dungy began his head coaching career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers after a successful run as defensive coach and defensive coordinator for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Minnesota Vikings.

   However, in a stunning turn of events, President-Elect Barack Obama has been fielding many calls of Tony Dungy, Barack Obamacongratulations on his “coaching career.” This seems to confirm the age old ‘they all look the same’ narrow-mindedness that was pervasive in the 1950s.

   Michelle Obama is said to be furious over this perceived slight, mentioning that she is now, once again, disappointed in her country. “Listen, aside from the short hair, skin color, stature, faith, eloquence, and obvious success in life, there are absolutely no similarities between my husband and Barack Obama. I mean, Tony Dungy. Hey, can you edit that quote?”

   Barack Obama had this to say: “I want to say first that I congratulate Coach Dungy on his decision and his success. I’ll always be there for him when he transitions out of politics.”

   For his part, Tony Dungy made the comment that he feels like he is “between Barack and a hard place.”

   Due to the constant mistaken identities between the two men, the Secret Service has propositioned Mr. Dungy with a contract to be President Obama’s body double. 

 Phil McCracken, AP reporting

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