San Diego Mayor Filner to Apologize for Not Harassing Prettier Women
San Diego, CA: In one of the oddest cases of sexual harassment in politics, San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has come under fire for the alleged sexual harassment of at…
Zimmerman to Pitch Stand Your Ground Reality Show
Jacksonville, FL: Fresh out of his trial, George Zimmerman is rumored to have signed a contract with Fox News to become a commentator and host of a new reality television…
Mayor Bloomberg to Add Benches, Ski-Lifts, to NYC Snowdrifts
Mayor Bloomberg prepares to make Manhattan skier-accessible after storm.
Punxsutawney Phil Predicts More Winter: Pennsylvanians Stock Up on Sunblock
Punxsutawney, PA: Once again, our furry meteorologists have poked their heads out into the world for the sole purpose of telling us when to expect winter to be over. This…
Groundhog Predicts Early Spring: Pennsylvanians Get Naked
Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog of revelation, left his hole this morning, slipped on the ice, crashed head-first into a tree, and didn't see his shadow in the frozen tundra that…
Punxsutawney Phil Found Dead
Groundhog Day had a confusing reading by Punxsutawney Phil today as the rodent of revelation never left his hole and is presumed dead.