President Places Embargo on Future American Pie Movies
Washington, DC: In an effort to improve his popularity rating as his second term dwindles to a close, President Bush delighted the nation by placing an embargo upon Adam Herz…
Local Grump Registers Lawn as Nature Reserve
Stamford, CT: In honor of Earth Day, local complainer Sam Peterson recently registered his front yard with the National Park Service's nature reserve program in order to protect the various…
Know-It-All Appointed to Cabinet Post
Washington, DC: After years of having his genius unrecognized, today perennial know-it-all Jim Wilson finally received his due: a Cabinet position. Speaking from the White House, Mr. Wilson said simply,…
Bush Cancels Elections in ‘Continuation of Democracy’ Effort
Washington, DC: In his first act since the issuing of the National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive, George W. Bush has canceled the upcoming 2008 presidential election, citing a…
Bush to Veto Timetable on Withdrawl from Oval Office
CRAWFORD, TX: At a press conference today, President Bush vowed to veto any efforts to have him removed from office, now or in the foreseeable future. Speaking from a barcalounger…
Gonzales Blames Alcohol
WASHINGTON, D.C.- In the aftermath of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales’ testimony in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee, Gonzales has come under intense scrutiny because of his lack of…