San Diego Mayor Filner to Apologize for Not Harassing Prettier Women
San Diego, CA: In one of the oddest cases of sexual harassment in politics, San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has come under fire for the alleged sexual harassment of at…
Man Claims There is Nothing to Do, Entire Earth Exists Around Him
Chicago, IL: On a recent day off from work, Chicago resident Dale Woodruff claimed that there was “nothing to do” despite an entire Earth full of endless possibilities existing right…
Organized Crime Struggles to Stay Popular
Boston, MA: With the jury having all but a verdict in the trial of infamous Winter Hill Gang leader, Whitey Bulger, the glory days of American organized crime, having been…
Rush Limbaugh to be Replaced by Rusho Limbaguez on Radio
Palm Beach, FL: Rush Limbaugh’s resistance to immigration reform may have been strengthened this past weekend, as it was learned that Rush, as well as Sean Hannity, would not have…
No, You Can’t Buy Detroit for a Dollar
Detroit, MI: Late last week, the city of Detroit filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy protection in federal court. Yes, the entire city. Through decades of alleged funds mismanagement and job,…
Zimmerman to Pitch Stand Your Ground Reality Show
Jacksonville, FL: Fresh out of his trial, George Zimmerman is rumored to have signed a contract with Fox News to become a commentator and host of a new reality television…
People Now Wondering Where They Can Go Without Shit Exploding
New York, NY: Following the latest tragedy of the Boeing 777 plane crash in San Francisco, concerned Americans are now wondering if there is anywhere they can go without shit…
Zimmerman Leaves Courthouse, Shoots 5 People Giving Him Stink Eye
Sanford, FL: The trial of George Zimmerman for the shooting death of 17 year old Trayvon Martin came to a close late Saturday night, as a jury of six women…
Zimmerman Defense Lawyer Follows Up Knock-Knock Joke With Stand-up Set
Sanford, FL: As the high profile trial of George Zimmerman in the murder of Trayvon Martin reconvened on Monday, Zimmerman’s defense lawyer Don West followed up the knock-knock joke used…
Death Valley Records High Summer Temperatures. Sky Still Blue
Las Vegas, NV: In a news report this weekend that surprised no one, it has been learned that several western US states are in the midst of a heat wave,…