When Chimps Revolt
Stamford, CT: This past week marked a turning point in human interaction with their simian friends, as a 200 pound chimpanzee named Travis did his best Britany Spears impression by…
Homes for Wayward Homes
President Barack Obama has turned his attention to another action on his "Taking Care of Business" policy list by further examining the mortgage crisis, which has played an alarming part…
What About the Birds?
With all the hoopla surrounding US Airways Flight 1549 landing safely in the Hudson River, no one has mentioned the parallel tragedy that took place at the same time: dead…
Secret Service Unveils New Limo for Obama
At a White House press conference this morning, Secret Service staff revealed the new limo that will be used to transport Barack Obama from place to place. Dubbed the "Changemobile,"…
Scientist Links Smoking to Lung Cancer
After fifty years of research, scientists at Eastern West Virginia Community and Technical College believe that they have finally discovered a possible side effect to smoking – lung cancer. Though…
Mark Fuhrman to Auction Off Bloody Gloves
Orenthal James Simpson was recently sentenced to nine years in prison for robbing men in a motel room who were selling football memorabilia of the same "O.J." Simpson. Unfortunately for…
Over-Eating Believed to Cause Weight Gain
Researchers at UCLA Medical Center believe that they have discovered a possible cause for the country’s skyrocketing obesity rate – overeating. For years, scientists and overweight people have been working…
Researchers Concerned About Manpris Activity
Scientists in the nation’s capital are concerned with the drastic increase of “manpris” (Capri pants for men) sightings across the U.S. in recent months. Many believe that the fashion faux…
Protesters Attack Columbus Day
Protesters of the Columbus Day Parade in New York rallied together today in order to express their disgust at what the idea of Christopher Columbus means to many Americans.
Fantastic Coverage of Hurricane Gustav
Geraldo Rivera gives us the harrowing story of an emergency worker that was, for some reason, IN THE WATER!!! Luckily, the boat he hopped out of and was attached to…