NFL Hall of Famers, Rookie Linked to Boy Band
Los Angeles, CA: The National Football League was spun on its head this past weekend, as it was learned that two Hall of Fame players and a rookie engaged in…
Clever Sharks Invade Key West
In a complete surprise to veteran researchers a rare breed of super smart bull sharks have been discovered off the coast of Key West, FL, representatives from the Discovery Channel…
New Burger Sensation Hits Pittsburgh!
Pittsburgh, PA: Denizens of Pittsburgh, trying to recover from public scorn over the exploits of disgraced quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, have embraced a new taste sensation: the Rotten Burger. This new…
Cromartie Reclaims Baby-Daddy Trophy from Edwards
New York, NY: The New York Jets, looking for a complement to lock down cornerback Darelle Revis, have signed free agent Antonio Cromartie in a move seen as expected and…
Genetic Link Found Between Roethlisberger and Winnie the Pooh
Pittsburgh, PA: In what seems to be a regular occurrence these days, lines of women have stepped forward accusing Ben Roethlisberger of naughty behavior. In what no longer seems to…
The Dark Side of the Girl Scouts of America
In a stunning move orchestrated by a contingent of conservative Washington lobbyists, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America (GSUSA) have been directly blamed for the prevalent and…
FOX News Reports on Tiger Woods’ Jewishness
Members of the media, specifically those of the more right-handed radio resolve, are alternately confused and enthralled by the fact that Tiger Woods, once thought to be just African-Asian American,…
City Healed: To Revert Back to Crotch of America
Celebrants filled the streets of New Orleans, spilling out from seedy sports bars and strip clubs and onto Bourbon Street to celebrate the Saints victory in the Super Bowl. The…
Rex Ryan’s Obesity Leads to Jets Elimination
Indianapolis, IN: In the wake of the New York Jets' improbable season, a season in which every conceivable break was needed just to get them into the playoffs, it has…
Bears Lineman Found Dead: Bucs Relieved
Greenwood, SC: In a day full of highly insensitive events in the NFL(the Jets winning, the Vikings breathing additional life into Brett Favre’s improbably and perpetually overrated career), perhaps the…