NHL & Gary Bettman Remind Most Men of a Date Tease
New York, NY: “I Hope They Have Hockey in Hell, because it’s not here on earth!” So said a guy (let’s call him “Random Guy”) that “Inept Owl” caught up…
Presidential Voting Results Marred By Insanity
Mitt Romney called a news conference to say: “To quote that great American, Yogi Berra, ‘It ain’t over until it’s deja vu all over again and the fat Democrat lady…
Looper: The Celebrity-Stopping Sequel
Rian Johnson, director of hit sci-fi thriller “Looper,” has announced he will time travel Joe Simmons, our favorite paid assassin, to the future to “take care” of the most dangerous…
Mitt Romney Occupies Sesame Street
123 Sesame Street: After stating that he loves “Big Bird” in his recent presidential debate, Mitt Romney clarified his stance on PBS. He stated, “Yes, I love Big Bird–but frankly,…
Did Jesus H. Christ Have a Mrs. H. Christ?
A historian of early Christianity at Harvard Divinity School has identified a scrap of papyrus that was written in Coptic in the fourth century and contains a phrase never seen…
The Rescue of Honey Boo Boo
McIntyre, GA: Ex-Navy Seal/current “No Easy Day” author Matt Bissonette, who was part of the elite team that literally bagged Osama Bin Laden, told “60 Minutes” of a recent secret…
Rosie O’Donnell Fights for Relevancy
Los Angeles, CA: Actress/talk show host Rosie O’Donnell, who recently had a heart attack, vows to come back bigger than ever…if that’s possible. Rosie’s wife, Michelle Rounds, stated, “To say…
Roger Clemens to Follow Long Tradition of Has-Beens in Independent League
Sugar Land, TX: Don’t call it a comeback, but Roger Clemens will be pitching in the minor leagues this weekend. The baseball legend will start Saturday against the Bridgeport Blue…
Lochte VS Phelps to Continue After London Olympics
London, UK: Unfortunately, competition between two of the biggest Olympic stars does not end with the Olympics. Indeed, after gold medalist Ryan Lochte expressed interest in appearing on “Dancing With…
You’ve Been Trumped, Trump!
Anthony Baxter’s soon-to-be released documentary, You’ve Been Trumped, is an unabashedly hostile portrait of a billionaire developer in action as he embarks on a grandiose project in Scotland. The $1.5…