Mitt Romney’s European Vacation
Everywhere, EUROPE: After a gaff-filled tour through Europe two weeks ago, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney decided to take himself and his family on a well-deserved break exploring the wilderness…
Fox News Announces New Tragedy-Seeking Technology
New York, NY: Fox News CEO and hot air balloon impersonator Roger Ailes recently announced the initiation of a new algorithm for finding the most tragic events around the US.…
New Cancer Treatment Promises Millions in Research Funding
Baltimore, MD: Last week, cancer researchers at Kennedy Krieger Institute announced the results of a trial for a new course of treatment that may benefit a number of types of…
Corporate Leaders Shocked that Union Fruit Baskets are Considered Political Expenditures
New York, NY: In a reaction to the Wall Street Journal’s recent ground-breaking report, corporate leaders have registered complaints on the political expenditures of unions. The expenditures, totaling around $4…
President Obama Experiments with Executive Privilege
Washington, DC: After his much-discussed use of executive privilege to obscure the details of the FBI’s “fast and furious” initiative, Obama has begun exploring the potential of his newfound power.…
GOP Calls Obamacare Ruling A Victory
Washington, DC: The GOP has come out with a statement calling the Supreme Court’s 5-4 decision upholding the individual mandate a victory for conservative forces around the US. This was…
Republicans Call Obama’s Immigration Policy a Gateway Immigration Policy
Washington, DC: Congressional Republicans have released a statement outlining their opposition to Obama’s new immigration policy, which would provide more avenues for undocumented immigrants to obtain citizenship. The GOP claims…
Burger King Launches More Bacon
Miami, FL: This week, Burger King’s ambitious new product line becomes available to customers. Going along with the release of the much talked-about sundae last week, the products are all…
Scott Walker Announces Plans for Second Term
Madison, WI: Today, in the wake of his reelection as governor, Scott Walker held a rally at the capitol to give an idea of his policies going forward. “This was…
Vatican Releases New Line of Books for Children
The Vatican, ITALY: Today Pope Benedict XVI blessed several new titles being published by the Vatican Press. The books, four in total, are directed towards children with the intention of…