T-Mobile Fails to Help Local Idiot Break Up with Girlfriend
Earlier his week, mobile communications company T-Mobile found a social media foothold that promises to take viral marketing by storm. Maybe too well.
NJ Traffic Scandal Labeled Military Exercise by Christie Supporters
Gov. Chris Christie's traffic scandal could be the next step in military strategy.
Basketball Fans Shocked that Dennis Rodman’s Odd Behavior in North Korea Took This Long
During his adventures in North Korea, Dennis Rodman alienates basketball fans...again.
Republicans Celebrate Party’s Triumph Over Science
GOP leaders gathered yesterday to celebrate a successful year for the Republican Party, capped off with an 11% decline in the belief in evolution with their colleagues.
Shock Therapy Could Erase Painful Memories Like Seeing “The Iron Giant”
Shock therapy could lead to the deletion of selective memory. Yes, just like in that movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Polar Vortex Leads to Officially ‘Fucking Cold’ Temperatures
With twenty-six states in the midst of wind-chill warnings and other temperature alerts due to a polar vortex, meteorologists across the Midwest have finally come to an agreement: it's fucking…
US Government to Destroy Over 1,000 Tons of Elmo Dolls for Environmental Safety
Following the destruction of ivory, the United States takes aim at Elmo dolls.
Local Asshole Refuses to Have a Happy New Year
Happy New Year? No thanks, already had one.