Signer at Mandela Memorial Apologizes for “Fat Space Omelette”
The sign language interpreter at the memorial for Nelson Mandela apologized for his recent misinterpretations such as Fat Space Omelette.
Volcker Rule Raises Eyes in Banks, Vegas
Las Vegas, NV: With the adoption of the latest Dodd-Frank financial overhaul law, dubbed "the Volcker Rule," set to be implemented in 2015, banks aren't the only companies scurrying for…
Lawmakers Pass Landmark Toy Gun Control Law
The Nerf Nerf™ Act, requires those interested in owning a toy gun to pass an extensive background check.
Santorum Compares Mandela’s Fight Against Apartheid to First World US Problems
Rick Santorum recently compared Nelson Mandela to the crusty old white men of Congress in a declaration of honor.
Paul Walker Death Apparently Not Related to International Street Racing Crime Sydicate
Paul Walker died in a car crash on Saturday, leading many to wonder if it had to do with a rival street racing team from Russia or China.
Cyber Monday Concludes with Minimal Casualties
Following its flashier, bloodier, and all-around more popular predecessor Black Friday, the digital door-busting shopping day Cyber Monday once again concluded with minimal casualties.
Walmart Announces Extension of Black Friday
In an announcement drowned out by gunfire and screams from rabid shoppers, we learn that Black Week is the extension of the savings so popular with consumers.