Buzzfeed Editor Pitches List of the Best Lists of the Best Lists on the Internet

New York, NY: In a private staff meeting, Buzzfeed Deputy List editor Patrick McLanahan pitched the idea of Buzzfeed creating a list of “best lists of the best lists on the internet.” The staff responded by immediately dismissing the idea as reckless and potentially hazardous.

“When he first pitched the idea, I had immediate flashbacks to the fear surrounding Y2K. Back then, no one knew what would happen when our nation’s computer system ticked over to the year 2000. With this crazy ‘list’ idea, there was palpable fear in the room that the Internet might somehow swallow itself if we published something as reckless as that,” said senior editor Rachel Dagwood.

BuzzFeed’s entire revenue stream comes from visits to its webpage and, according to public records, the only things more profitable that a good Internet list are cat memes.

“The power of lists on the internet is really something special,” said Jack McKown, professor of New Media Studies at Virginia Tech, “But creating a list of the best lists of the best lists seems a little risky. My fear would be that the buzz around such an item might take on a life force all its own and eventually overextend servers to the point that the entire Internet crashes.”

According to an unofficial press release, BuzzFeed has no intention of ever following through on the idea to create such a list.

“We here at BuzzFeed understand the power that can be wielded when publishing lists to the Internet, and we do not take it lightly. Needless to say, the idea to create a ‘list of the best lists of the best lists’ has been abandoned. Our readers can look forward to our upcoming list of the best pictures of Justin Timberlake from 1997-99,” the statement read.

Despite BuzzFeed’s reassurances, certain pockets of the Internet have begun cultivating conspiracy theories regarding the “list of the best lists of the best lists.”

“I think it is pretty clear at this point that the editors of BuzzFeed attempted to create the list but, not understanding its awesome power, were enveloped in a rip tide of click-backs and page hits. What we are now left with is a sort of Alter-BuzzFeed, hell bent on taking the entire web down in one foul swoop,” Weeze Khalifa, a prodigious internet commenter wrote.

For now, all federal law enforcement and regulatory agencies are on standby until further notice.