Sh*t Sh*t Says
For the past month we have been inundated with more sh*t people say than we know what to do with; New Yorkers; chicks; hipsters; gay people; people watching clips of…
Patriots Coach Belichick to Install New Gate at Home
Weston, MA: In celebration of the New England Patriots making it to their 5th Super Bowl in 10 years, coach Bill Belichick recently instigated plans for building a 4th gate…
NFL Powder Puff Picks 2012: Pro Bowl
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to the games. While…
The 2012 Republican Debate in Florida: An Oblivious Pictorial Review
The second Republican debate in Florida was held yesterday, pitting the political powerhouses Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, and some guy named Rick against each other in a battle…
Death Cab for Cutie to Launch Farewell Zooey Tour
Los Angeles, CA: After two month's of separation and a month of divorce proceedings, "Death Cab for Cutie" frontman Ben Gibbard is planning to say goodbye to Zooey Deschanel the…
What Is Dirty Dancing Anymore?
I am not a big fan of Dirty Dancing. Sure, Jennifer Grey was one of my "just turned adolescent" fantasies thanks to Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I don't know if…
Joe Paterno Fails to Replace Abe Vigoda Joke
University Park, PA: After only a few hours and minimal faulty news reports, reality was finally confirmed: Abe Vigoda is still alive. Unfortunately for legendary Penn State football coach Joe…
NFL Powder Puff Picks 2012: Conference Championships
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Things are coming down to the wire for all players, and much like our leaders, these games are really about seeing…
New Jersey Lobbies for Giants Super Bowl Parade to be Held on Turnpike
East Rutherford, NJ: A decades-long debate was reopened once again on Wednesday as New Jersey governor Chris Christie opened his big mouth without any intention of putting food in it.…
Belichick and Patriots Hire McDaniels, Cowher and More as Assistants
Foxborough, MA: Looking for their first win in the NFL playoffs since 2007, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots left nothing to chance by hiring their former offensive coordinator,…