Huntington, NY: In the world of the internet, he or she who has the most free toys, wins. One savvy techno-whiz, Paul Shenker, took this idea to the outer limits when trying to organize the best free-based car stereo system on the planet, no matter how much he would have to pay up-front.
“I’ve been trying to get free crap since I was in pre-school,” explined Mr. Shenker. “We would line up for milk, and I would make sure I was at the front. That way I could change into my other clothes underneath the Little Tikes table, slap a hat on my head, and get a second round. Easy.”
The free food focus continued to this day, as Mr. Shenker was the main cause of free sample tables worldwide being depleted. “I would spend at least an hour per meal driving from market to market in order to get a full-balanced diet of pigs-in-a-blanket and sample cups of whatever radioactive soft drink was being served. If you disregard gas prices, I was saving at least $15-$20 a day. One time, I even got a free kid!”
Technological advances soon had Paul downloading pirated music and burning CDs or dumping them into an old iPod with a cassette dock for his car. Soon after, with personal lawsuits, bolstered copy-protections, and complaints by Metallica, Mr. Shenker found himself with a dilemma that was sure to shock his free-based ways: start buying CDs and iTunes songs, or sign up for SiriusXM Radio.
“The only free thing around was terrestrial radio, and that shit sucks,” Paul explained. “I think I heard the same damn My Chemical Romance song 6 times in a row during one car trip. Obviously the deejay didn’t give a shit, or the computer program cycling the songs caught a virus. After that, I knew there had to be a way to get what I want from my car stereo without having to continually pay for it. You know, the American Dream.”
Shenker indeed found that way. “The first problem I had to deal with was having a shitty car without an AV jack or USB port like most new cars have, but having too new a car to have a cassette player anymore, so I had to improvise.”
Using a static-infested radio signal connector, Paul first linked up his iTouch, in order to best listen to his choice of music from the 90s and earlier. “Yeah, there was a time I purchased CDs. Well, not always purchasing…”, answered Shenker.
The next step was to get decent radio stations. “Obviously I already had radio: shitty, repetitive radio. I think the only things I listened to were WFAN and ESPN radio. Yeah, sports. AM. That’s how bad it was.”
Of course, radio is only as good as the city you are nearby, and even then, choices are limited. “I love New York, but they have a lot of poppy shit, and not much of an alt rock choice. So I downloaded NOBEX on my BlackBerry and linked it up to another radio connector. Now I’m listening to Californian radio’s KROQ most of the time. Except when that weird morning show comes on. I even get Howard Stern’s repeat station from SiriusXM, Howard 101. Howard could be dead and I wouldn’t know it because of how old those shows are, but it doesn’t matter anyway.”
In the event there is nothing on, or the radio signal is dead, Paul had signed up another BlackBerry to his phone plan in order to use Pandora. “That was a given. type in a band, and listen to a whole bunch of songs that don’t remotely sound like the band you asked for. Still, it beats terrestrial radio.”
The set-up wasn’t as easy as plug and play, however. Due to the high use of wireless devices, Shenker was forced to install 4 extra electric car-jacks in order to link the devices to his stereo, and also keep them charged. On top of that, an extra 2 batteries had to be installed into his mini-van to handle the output. Add to that multiple antennae, docking stations, and a static reducer to make sure he and his passengers aren’t electrocuted when touching the door, and Paul’s system cost close to $50,000 with its installation.
When asked if it was worth it, Mr. Shenker replied, “Absolutely. Have you seen the additional billings on crap these days?” When it was asked how much additional billing he was paying for phone and wireless services, Shenker had no comment.