Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. The leads have changed! In the bottom tier, anyway, as Darby Shaw takes last place from Rick Bernardo. Excitement abounds!
Thursday, November 24th, 2010
VS
New England Patriots @ Detroit Lions
LINE: Patriots (NWE) by 7
Steve Elle
Lions coach Jim Schwartz has gotten into the habit of helping out his buddies in the AFC East, and this week should be no different. Schwartz’s interesting strategic coaching style has flourishes such as ‘managing’ the clock in such a way as to assure that the opposing team has a chance to win, even when they don’t deserve to and shouldn’t even still be in the game. Another interesting flourish is having his 300 lb 1st round draft pick DT (a boy named Suh) kicking extra points. Interesting. That strategy failed too. Pick: Patriots-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Lions-LOSS
VS
New Orleans Saints @ Dallas Cowboys
LINE: Saints (NOR) by 4
Darby Shaw
I bet at the beginning of the season, the NFL schedulers actually thought they’d finally gotten a good, watchable game scheduled for Thanksgiving when they got this one. Whoops. Pick: Saints-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Saints-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Cowboys-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Saints-LOSS
VS
Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets
LINE: Jets (NYJ) by 9
Rick Bernardo
Forget football. What’s the spread on the amount of turkey Rex Ryan will have eaten on Thanksgiving? I’ll put the over/under at 5 pounds, not counting the prerequisite turkey drumstick that he is bound to win. Pick: Bengals-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Jets-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Jets-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Jets-WIN
Sunday, November 27th, 2010
VS
Green Bay Packers @ Atlanta Falcons
LINE: Falcons (ATL) by 3
Darby Shaw: Pick: Packers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Falcons-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Packers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Falcons-LOSS
VS
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Buffalo Bills
LINE: Steelers (PIT) by 7
Rob Wheatley
Well, what can I say about this game? No really, I mean it, probably the two most boringly named teams in the whole league. Given my total lack of any knowledge at any level on this whole NFL thing, I’m usually relying heavily on wordplay based around some mythical heroic image or mighty beast as I struggle to write this commentary every week. The Titans, The Vikings, The Chargers, The Bears, these are all gifts for my wine-fuelled imagination, but the Bills and the Steelers ? Get off my land, I’ll be lucky if I can even write three words on this game. Steelers to WIN! Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
VS
Carolina Panthers @ Cleveland Browns
LINE: EVEN
Rick Bernardo
The Browns have to take offense to this. They’re playing their hearts out, making games with some of the best teams in the NFL, and they have a home game against the worst team in the NFL. And yet, here we are, with no line. This is Vegas’ way of saying “We think the Browns will win, but they may even find a way to lose. Again.” Pick: Browns-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Browns-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Browns-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Browns-WIN
VS
Jacksonville Jaguars @ New York Giants
LINE: Giants (NYG) by 8
Darby Shaw: Pick: Giants-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Giants-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Giants-LOSS
VS
Minnesota Vikings @ Washington Redskins
LINE: Redskins (WAS) by 3
Darby Shaw
Watch for the “Jason Garrett Effect” to kick in as the Vikings decide to go ahead and play for their interim coach. They’ll act all excited and motivated for a couple weeks, and talk about how invigorating their new coach is. Then, after that, they’ll go back to sucking. Pick: Vikings-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Vikings-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Vikings-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Redskins-LOSS
VS
Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans
LINE: EVEN
Darby Shaw
Err, yeah. Sure. Vince Young has a torn whatchamajig, and THAT’S why he’s out for the rest of the season. The way he’s been acting, Coach Fisher would put him on injured reserve with a hangnail, if he had to. Pick: Texans-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Texans-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Texans-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Texans-WIN
VS
Miami Dolphins @ Oakland Raiders
LINE: EVEN
Steve Elle
The Raiders are resurgent while the Dolphins are regressing. Chad Henne may be back in the fold, which is good, I suppose, until you remember that he was benched on purpose two weeks ago. The Raiders’ situation is similar. Jason Campbell, Bruce Gradkowski, who knows? Same with RB. One week it’s Michael Bush, another it’s Darren McFadden. There will be a winner and a loser in this game. Then we’ll know more. Unless it’s a tie.
Pick: Dolphins-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Dolphins-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Raiders-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Dolphins-WIN
VS
Kansas City Chiefs @ Seattle Seahawks
LINE: Chiefs (KAN) by 1
Darby Shaw: Pick: Chiefs-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chiefs-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Chiefs-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Chiefs-WIN
VS
Philadelphia Eagles @ Chicago Bears
LINE: Eagles (PHI) by 4
Rob Wheatley
Eagles are well known in nature for their incredible eyesight,which they use for hunting and reading. Being able to see several miles away in a single look is no help at all, though, if all you can see is a very angry bear heading your way. Especially if that bear is not really a bear, but just a bit of wordplay based on the exciting idea of a bear. See Steelers and Bills, do ya see how good that was? Bears WIN due to a higher Fur-Beak ratio index. Pick: Bears-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
VS
St. Louis Rams @ Denver Broncos
LINE: Broncos (DEN) by 4
Darby Shaw: Pick: Broncos-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Rams-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Rams-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Broncos-LOSS
VS
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens
LINE: Ravens (BAL) by 8
Steve Elle
The smart money says no way the Bucs win this game. The smart money also said the Bucs would win somewhere between 1 and 3 games this year. The smart money was not so smart. This game will ride on turnovers. If the Bucs can get some in their favor they have a very good chance to win. The Ravens will not overlook the Bucs. Both teams will be prepared. My smart money says Joe Flacco will walk the plank. Pick: Bucs-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Ravens-LOSS
VS
San Diego Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts
LINE: Colts (IND) by 3
Rob Wheatley
Colt Seevers, A-hey-hey! Aah, who can forget that old tv classic “The Fall Guy” ? Every week Lee Majors, played by half man-half robot Steve Austin, would do something or other and end up falling in the hay. ..A-hey-hey. Bloody marvelous.
The word “Charger” is derived from a shortened form of Chargrilled-Burger. Im quite hungry actually, so based on that I’m going Chargrilled Burgers to WIN! Pick: Chargers-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Colts-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Colts-LOSS
Monday, November 28th, 2010
VS
San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals
LINE: 49ers (SFO) by 1
Rick Bernardo
It’s fitting that these two 3-7 teams would face each other the Monday after Thanksgiving. The holiday weekend hang-over extends into the first day of work to the point that you want to go to bed early. For a more important game, this would pose a problem, but luckily, the only important thing about this game is for fantasy football players scrambling to figure out what quarterbacks will even be playing for each team. As ESPN said, someone has to win the NFC East. Pick: 49ers-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: 49ers-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: 49ers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: 49ers-WIN
RECORDS
This Week
Darby Shaw: 11-5
Rick Bernardo: 9-7
Steve Elle: 12-4
Rob Wheatley: 8-8
Total
Steve Elle: 103-73
Rob Wheatley: 100-76
Darby Shaw: 99-77
Rick Bernardo: 98-78