Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. Our token British guy still has the lead, and bottom-feeder Rick Bernardo has finally picked more correctly than not in a week.
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
VS
Miami Dolphins @ Cincinnati Bengals
LINE: Bengals(CIN) by 2
Steve Elle
With Revis Island recently re-inhabited, Cincinnati will look like Divas Island. Terrell Owens, Ocho Cinco, Brandon Marshall – all on the same field. There hasn’t been this much ego in one building since the legendary Dane Cook staged his last solo show to the sound of one hand clapping. These teams actually match up well. It will come down to execution. And as John McKay once said regarding the execution of his team, I’m all for it. Pick: Dolphins-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Dolphins-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Dolphins-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Dolphins-WIN
VS
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Dallas Cowboys
LINE: Cowboys (DAL) by 7
Rick Bernardo
Is it just me, or does it seem like the Cowboys are always playing at home? Who is Jerry Jones paying off? He should save some of that money for a coach and new team for next season. Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Jaguars-WIN
VS
Washington Redskins @ Detroit Lions
LINE: Lions(DET) by 3
Rob Wheatley
Did you know, that ‘The Red Lion’ is one of the most popular Pub names here in the UK? Or that ‘skins’ is a popular underground smokers slang for cigarette-paper? And that Lion skins are illegal, unless you’re a Lion..which doesn’t matter anyway cos you gonna loooose..Redskins to skin the Lions (skin). Pick: Redskins-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Redskins-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Redskins-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Lions-WIN
VS
Buffalo Bills @ Kansas City Chiefs
LINE: Chiefs(KAN) by 8
Darby Shaw
Sure, the Chiefs were the last undefeated team in the NFL. Sure, they have the best rushing attack in the league. Sure, Buffalo is the only team (so far) that Terrell Owens couldn’t stand for even two seasons. But I just think they’re a scary team to face right now. (By the way… this is known as a “reverse jinx” in the football world.) Pick: Bills-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chiefs-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Bills-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bills-WIN
VS
Carolina Panthers @ St. Louis Rams
LINE: Rams(STL) by 3
Rick Bernardo
This is what happens when you are the last to pick your commentary: you get Panthers vs. Rams. You hope for the best, but expect the worst. Much like both of these teams. Except the Rams seem a bit more stable. Wow. I didn’t expect to say that for at least another year. Pick: Rams-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Rams-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Rams-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Panthers-LOSS
VS
Green Bay Packers @ New York Jets
LINE: Jets(NYJ) by 6
Steve Elle
It doesn’t seem possible that the Jets can lose any other games. You have the dynamic, wise beyond his years play of Sanchize; you have a rejuvenated L.T.; you have a recently re-inhabited Revis Island. And what do the Packers have? Brett Favre? No. Reggie White? Dead. Vince Lombardi? Plant food. Good luck, young Packers, but your mission IS impossible. Pick: Packers-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Packers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Packers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Packers-WIN
VS
Denver Broncos @ San Francisco 49ers
LINE: EVEN
Darby Shaw
Dear sweet jebus… after the way the Broncos played last week and the way the Niners have played all year, I don’t think they could sell this game out if they gave the tickets away and offered free lapdances at halftime. I definitely think they should try the lapdance thing anyway, though, just to be sure. Excuse me while I check Expedia for flights to the Bay area. Pick: 49ers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Broncos-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: 49ers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: 49ers-WIN
VS
Tennessee Titans @ San Diego Chargers
LINE: Chargers(SDG) by 4
Rob Wheatley
Well, I don’t know what to say following the recent Panthers/Phartens anagram scandal of last week…but Titans has just GOT to be an anagram of Satans Tits..it’s just got to be..anyone, can you just check ?? Purely on the basis of the angram, I’m going Titans to WIN Pick: Titans-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Chargers-WIN
VS
Seattle Seahawks @ Oakland Raiders
LINE: Raiders(OAK) by 3
Rob Wheatley
Squawk squawk squawk, goes the big Seahawk…”Fuck off” shouts the Raider, “I’m trying to raid something, and you’re sure to wake the victims of my nefarious activity and bugger it up for everyone ! You stupid bird!” – Just a bit of poetry for you there, about a Seahawk. And a Raider…Raiders win this one! Pick: Raiders-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Seahawks-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Raiders-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Seahawks-LOSS
VS
Minnesota Vikings @ New England Patriots
LINE: Patriots(NWE) by 6
Rick Bernardo
There seems to be a lot of talk about how Randy Moss can clue the Vikings defense into the game plan for the Patriots’ offense. Big deal. Here’s a hint: Wes Welker runs slants, Deion Branch runs a fly pattern, and Benjarvus Green-Ellis diddles himself in the backfield because he has nothing better to do. All that scouting, and I didn’t even have a video camera…or a camera-phone. Pick: Patriots-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Patriots-WIN
VS
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Arizona Cardinals
LINE: Cardinals(ARI) by 3
Steve Elle
The Bucs meet the Cardinals Sunday in the most eagerly awaited match since about 5 minutes before this game starts. Rookie Buc RB Lagarette Blount looks to get more carries (and less punches) as he’s shown that he belongs in this league. The QB for the Cardinals Matt Fox (sp? Name?) is coming off a concussion, but that bodes well for him since the Bucs have been very, very polite to QBs this season. This is one of those rare games that will come down to the final score. Unlike Miami’s game last week, the team with the most points will likely deserve to win. Pick: Bucs-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Cardinals-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bucs-WIN
VS
Pittsburgh Steelers @ New Orleans Saints
LINE: Steelers(PIT) by 1
Darby Shaw
Random fact of the day: In week 8, the Saints are the only home team that’s an underdog in their game. Oh, and they’re the defending Super Bowl champs. Oh, and their opponent’s QB just recently got back from suspension. That’s gotta sting a little. Pick: Saints-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Monday, November 1st, 2010
VS
Houston Texans @ Indianapolis Colts
LINE: Colts(IND) by 6
Darby Shaw: Pick: Texans-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Colts-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Colts-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Colts-WIN
RECORDS
This Week
Darby Shaw: 10-3
Rick Bernardo: 8-5
Steve Elle: 11-2
Rob Wheatley: 9-4
Total
Rob Wheatley: 69-48
Darby Shaw: 66-51
Steve Elle: 66-51
Rick Bernardo: 60-57