Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. Our British coin-flip replacement Rob is tied for the lead with Darby, with the two guys that say they know everything about football far behind. Let us see what this week brings!
Sunday, October 10th, 2010
VS
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Buffalo Bills
LINE: Jaguars(JAC) by 2
Rick Bernardo
Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present the grudge match of the century. Forget Joe Montana VS the 49ers. Dismiss Brett Favre VS the Packers. This Sunday, we will be engaged with…Trent Edwards VS the Bills. Oh, this just in: Owl sportscaster’s reference to Trent Edwards causes Bills game to be blacked out. Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Jaguars-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bills-LOSS
VS
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Cincinnati Bengals
LINE: Bengals(CIN) by 7
Steve Elle
The Bucs face the Bengals this week and, the long and short of it is, I don’t think there is any way possible for the lowly Bucs to beat the clearly superior Bengals. For some time now, Cincinnati has led Tampa in all significant categories having to do with player arrests and other felonious acts. And, as we all know, player arrests are directly linked to higher average testosterone levels, which is itself linked to greater aggression and ability to develop muscle mass, all of which tells the sad tale here. The Bengals should win and win big. They may even kill someone. Pick: Bengals-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Bucs-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bucs-WIN
VS
Atlanta Falcons @ Cleveland Browns
LINE: Falcons(ATL) by 3
Rob Wheatley
Only last Sunday, according to my sources, Atlanta’s Tony Gonzalez became the first NFL tight end with 12,000 receiving yards. I don’t know what that means but it sounds absolutely filthy ! Pick: Falcons-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Falcons-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Falcons-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Falcons-WIN
VS
St. Louis Rams @ Detroit Lions
LINE: Lions(DET) by 3
Darby Shaw
I know Detriot is the home team, which is suppsed to be good for 3 points, but really? How pissed off does 2-2 St. Louis have to be about being underdogs to the Lions? That’s like being behind in the polls to Christine O’Donnell. Pick: Rams-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Lions-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Lions-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Rams-LOSS
VS
Kansas City Chiefs @ Indianapolis Colts
LINE: Colts(IND) by 8
Darby Shaw
Quick quiz… in the pre-season, if you were told one of these teams would be undefeated going into this game and the other would be mediocre, which team would you have said was which? Suckas. Pick: Chiefs-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Colts-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Colts-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Colts-WIN
VS
Green Bay Packers @ Washington Redskins
LINE: Packers(GNB) by 3
Darby Shaw: Pick: Redskins-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Packers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Packers-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Packers-LOSS
VS
Chicago Bears @ Carolina Panthers
LINE: Bears(CHI) by 3
Rob Wheatley
The Panthers are without drunk-driving-receiver Dwayne Jarrett, who has been arrested for driving while hammered for the second time in less than three years. Poor bloke, gets drunk twice in three years and gets arrested both times. Pick: Bears-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Panthers-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Panthers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Bears-WIN
VS
Denver Broncos @ Baltimore Ravens
LINE: Ravens(BAL) by 7
Rick Bernardo
Say what you will about these two teams: they limp in with their wins, they’re in over their head, overrated, etc. But unlike the rest of the league, their quarterbacks aren’t causing fantasy football players to commit hari kari. Pick: Ravens-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Ravens-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Ravens-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Broncos-LOSS
VS
New York Giants @ Houston Texans
LINE: Texans(HOU) by 3
Rob Wheatley
Holy Cock-in a jar ! It’s a Giant !! Arrrrrggghhhh !!! Run, it’s a whole team of them, run for your lives Texans, but don’t forget to thrash the living beans out of them first.. Texans Take it to the top. Pick: Texans-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Texans-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Texans-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Giants-WIN
VS
New Orleans Saints @ Arizona Cardinals
LINE: Saints(NOR) by 7
Rick Bernardo
With over 600 yards passing and 3 touchdowns, Cardinals quarterback Derek Anderson has already exceeded last year’s stats. He also looks to exceed his total in interceptions, which is currently at 5. Is JaMarcus Russell still available? Pick: Saints-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Cardinals-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Saints-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Cardinals-WIN
VS
Tennessee Titans @ Dallas Cowboys
LINE: Cowboys(DAL) by 7
Darby Shaw: Pick: Titans-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Cowboys-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Titans-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Titans-WIN
VS
San Diego Chargers @ Oakland Raiders
LINE: Chargers(SDG) by 7
Darby Shaw: Pick: Chargers-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Chargers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Raiders-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Chargers-LOSS
VS
Philadelphia Eagles @ San Francisco 49ers
LINE: 49ers(SFO) by 4
Darby Shaw
Another spectacularly unwatchable Sunday nighter. Somewhere in heaven, John Madden is laughing. Wait, what? He’s not dead? Dammit. Pick: Eagles-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: 49ers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: 49ers-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: 49ers-LOSS
Monday, October 11th, 2010
VS
Minnesota Vikings @ New York Jets
LINE: Jets(NYJ) by 4
Steve Elle
Wow, the story lines abound here. First Randy Moss is traded back to the Vikings in a move that smacks of desperation. Then Brett Favre is nailed by Deadspin (ironically, for not nailing some hottie) for behavior that, shocker, also smacks of desperation. Sense a trend here? The Jets however are not desperate. In fact they’re the hottest team in the league. Indeed, most pundits admit that it seems possible that they will not lose another game for perhaps the next three seasons or so. And using that logic, they’ll win this Sunday. The best part about that? Favre will be a 3 time loser. He’ll lose the game. He’ll lose his wife (if she means to maintain her self respect). And he’ll lose his shirt for all the wrong reasons. Pick: Jets-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Jets-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Vikings-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Jets-WIN
RECORDS
This Week
Darby Shaw: 9-5
Rick Bernardo: 6-8
Steve Elle: 10-4
Rob Wheatley: 7-7
Total
Darby Shaw: 42-34
Rob Wheatley: 40-36
Steve Elle: 40-36
Rick Bernardo: 33-45