Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to key games. Darby Shaw is still in the lead! He obviously has figured out a way to get the games earlier than the rest of us in order to accomplish this.
Sunday, October 3rd, 2010
VS
San Francisco 49ers @ Atlanta Falcons
LINE: Falcons(ATL) by 7
Rick Bernardo
There was a time, long long ago, that I thought Alex Smith was “The One”. Four years later, he had Michael Crabtree. Well, at least the possibility of having him until contract negotiations. Again, he was “The One”. Still waiting, but at least he’s not Matt Leinart. Pick: Falcons-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Falcons-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: 49ers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: 49ers-WIN
VS
New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills
LINE: Jets(NYJ) by 6
Rob Wheatley
Well, any decent and respected Sports Analyst could tell you this game could go either way, and that’s why I think otherwise.
I was thinking about some famous Bills from American history, Buffalo Bill in particular. He was like some kind of Minotaur by the sounds of it..pretty good with a gun. And the lady Buffalos. Anyway, Bills are the winners, just because they’re better. Pick: Bills-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Jets-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Bills-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Jets-WIN
VS
Cincinnati Bengals @ Cleveland Browns
LINE: Bengals(CIN) by 4
Darby Shaw
The Battle of Ohio sounds a little bit like a WWF bout this year. It’s TO and Ocho, the Mouths of the South, versus the Belligerent Bulldogs! No matter who wins, television viewers in Ohio lose. Pick: Bengals-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Bengals-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Browns-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Browns-WIN
VS
Detroit Lions @ Green Bay Packers
LINE: Packers(GNB) by 15
Darby Shaw: Pick: Lions-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Lions-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Packers-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Lions-WIN
VS
Denver Broncos @ Tennessee Titans
LINE: Titans(TEN) by 7
Darby Shaw
If Tim Tebow wants to know his future career path, including the imminent mental breakdown, he need look no further than Vince Young. Well, there will probably be fewer strip clubs for Tebow, but still. Pick: Titans-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Titans-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Titans-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Broncos-WIN
VS
Seattle Seahawks @ St. Louis Rams
LINE: Seahawks(SEA) by 2
Steve Elle
Even the Rams need some love. Preferably by other Rams, or perhaps Mountain Goats. Oh, the football team, yes. Sam Bradford is showing signs of QB legitimacy. But he and they have a long way to go. The Seahawks are a surprise at this point, playing more like the pre-sanction Trojans than the pre-Carroll Seahawks. That is a good thing. For the Seahawks. Pick: Rams-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Seahawks-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Rams-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Rams-WIN
VS
Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints
LINE: Saints(NOR) by 14
Rob Wheatley
Panthers versus Saints ? Could just as well be Pumpkins versus Balloons for all I bloody know. Look, I’ve been studying this sport for almost a month now and I still can’t work out why there are so many people needed around the pitch just to get some coked-up steroid freak to throw a ball ? There are blokes with radios, clipboards, mutant Bear-heads, I just dont get it. Panthers snatch the victory and WIN !! Pick: Panthers-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Panthers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Panthers-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Saints-LOSS
VS
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers
LINE: Steelers(PIT) by 2
Darby Shaw
Ray Lewis and Charlie Batch are the Michael Douglases of the NFL right now: they turn in amazingly overhyped performances, despite their age. Oh, and they’ve also filmed sex acts with Sharon Stone. Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Ravens-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Steelers-LOSS
VS
Houston Texans @ Oakland Raiders
LINE: Texans(HOU) by 4
Rob Wheatley
Well, I can’t imagine any team of Texans puttin up with no Raiders, although I’m now reliably informed that the team names have no real relation to the players therein..which rather ballses up most of the opportunities I thought I had for stirring imagery, heroic metaphors and general but widespread cliche abuse. Arse-biscuits ! Go Texas, you gonna win !! Pick: Texans-WIN
Darby Shaw: Pick: Texans-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Texans-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Raiders-LOSS
VS
Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars
LINE: Colts(IND) by 9
Steve Elle
As pointed out by Jason Whitlock recently, the Colts last week started the most exclusively white offense in the NFL and somehow still won their game. This is being investigated by the NAACP and Al Sharpton who is convinced there is a conspiracy at hand. The Jaguars, stating that they are no-one’s masters, have declared to give the Colts a good, er, whipping. Pick: Colts-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Colts-LOSS
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Colts-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Colts-LOSS
VS
Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles
LINE: Eagles(PHI) by 7
Rick Bernardo
I’ve seen this one before. The has-been quarterback gets tossed by his team for a younger, stronger player. Mr. Veteran than goes off to some lame team of misfits, and rallies them to the big game. The veteran always plays his old team twice. This first time he gets murdered. The second time, redemption. Welcome to Round 1 of Donovan McNabb VS the entire city of Philadelphia. Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Redskins-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Eagles-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Redskins-WIN
VS
Arizona Cardinals @ San Diego Chargers
LINE: Chargers(SDG) by 9
Darby Shaw: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Cardinals-LOSS
Steve Elle: Pick: Chargers-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Chargers-WIN
VS
Chicago Bears @ New York Giants
LINE: Giants(NYG) by 4
Rick Bernardo
I bet this game looked real good on paper last year. Now it seems that it’s a good time for some new shows to have their Sunday season premiere. I’m looking at you, Family Guy. The only people winning this game are fantasy teams that have either defense. Then again… Pick: Bears-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Giants-WIN
Steve Elle: Pick: Bears-LOSS
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Bears-LOSS
Monday, October 4th, 2010
VS
New England Patriots @ Miami Dolphins
LINE: Patriots(NWE) by 1
Steve Elle
After losing to the dreaded Jets, the Dolphins actually have a game against a legitimate team this week. It’ll be interesting to see the match-up between two of the premier receivers in the game (Moss and Marshall). Revis is still lost at sea and seemingly can’t find his island. Curious though, why is this New England team (Pat’s) named after our editor? Weird. Pick: Dolphins-LOSS
Darby Shaw: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rick Bernardo: Pick: Patriots-WIN
Rob Wheatley: Pick: Dolphins-LOSS
Bye Week
VS
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
LINE: Bucs(TAM) by 12
Steve Elle
As the Bucs embark on their big date with the dreaded early season Bye Week, they reflect on the relatively successful beginning of their season. However, first the Bye Week. Bye Week is undefeated, having never lost a battle. Still, the Bucs should win this one easily and be awarded a half game. Pick: Bucs
RECORDS
This Week
Darby Shaw: 8-6
Rick Bernardo: 5-9
Steve Elle: 7-7
Rob Wheatley: 10-4
Total
Darby Shaw: 33-29
Rob Wheatley: 33-29
Steve Elle: 30-32
Rick Bernardo: 25-37