With the unfortunate demise of Segway company owner Jim Heselden by falling off a cliff while trying to off-road a Segway, we at The Inept Owl believe that some pages may have been missing from the machine’s safety manual.

These are those pages.


   So please, if you truly feel the need to needlessly ride around on a gyroscopic scooter because you’re that lazy, follow these safety measures. It could very well save your life.

By FascistEditor

As the managing editor of The Inept Owl, Patrick has sworn to uphold the honor and integrity of hard-hitting journalism...but only on Sundays at 10am.