Tokyo, JAPAN: For the past few months, we have been unable to turn on the television without coming across a news alert about a runaway Prius or Scion B, Tc, D, or Q. What was once regarded as the world’s most boring, and therefore safe, automobiles became the terror of the
roadways.
BMWs, Porsches, and Ferraris would swerve out of the way as these rolling chariots of death coasted down highways and neighborhood streets. New games of chicken were invented where players would cross if they saw a Prius rolling up to the stop light. Even the United States Army began plans to use Toyotas as battering rams when escorting time sensitive materials and wounded soldiers.
During this time, Toyota scrapped it’s old tagline, “Making A Difference”.
“We made a difference, allright. We showed the world what the baddest cars on the street are!” exclaimed Toyota sales representative Hiroshi Sanz.
Outspoken radio personality Rush Limbaugh had another opinion. “This has to do with the bombing of Hiroshima and that other city in Japan,” Rush explained. “They’re taking us out one by one. I’ll tell you what, you aren’t reading about these sort of car accidents in Japan.” When asking if Mr. Limbaugh could read Japanese, he waved his hand at us and pushed the button to play an Obscene Profit Timeout.
Toyota has already placed a new tagline into their advertising, “Moving Forward.” Unfortunately, as you can see from our depiction of the ad, this tagline can’t last.