New York, NY: This past Saturday marked the third “Earth Hour,” a steadily growing annual eco-awareness hour where citizens of Earth turn off anything that lights up. Cities around the world dumped themselves into blackouts, including Atlanta, Chicago, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami and 
Nashville, Moscow, Hong Kong, Mumbai, Shanghai and Mexico City. Surprisingly, no riots or massive thefts were reported, possibly because no-one could see anything happening.
Unfortunately, New York City only succeeded in turning off the ginormous video screen in Times Square, thanks to Coca-Cola. Next year, things will be different, according to sources at Time Warner Cable.
“Let us state for the record: Time Warner Cable will bring Earth Hour 2010 to the greater metropolitan area of New York,” publicist Gary Sherman stated. “Our cable network is going to plug the sh*t out of Earth Hour so much, the whole northeast of America will be barren on that hour…except for the flickering of television sets.”
Time Warner will not only be providing free air time for the World Wildlife Fund for commercial plugs on selected cable stations in January and February, but they will be running their own “dare to miss” programming on the appointed hour. “What better way to celebrate ‘Earth Hour’ than to learn all about the resources you would help promote awareness for if you actually turned off the television?” explained Mr. Sherman. “What? No, I don’t want to take that quote back.”
Executives at Time Warner believe that, although New York City won’t be completely engulfed in darkness, the soft glow of television sets will bring about a new view on conservation techniques. “Ok, so we’re not doing it the same as every other city in the world. We’re using electricity. But television lighting is, I think, the coming decade’s halogen bulb. Maybe we’ll invigorate Earth Hour. It’ll be like…the Grammy Awards for the environment,” continued Mr. Sherman.
Coincidentally, once Gary Sherman uttered those words, Time Warner ordered 700 feet of green carpet and sent in a space reservation request to the NOKIA Theatre in Times Square.