Tampa, FL: The roster confusion within the New York Yankees continues, as perennial Yankee Andy…
Kansas City, MO—Today a spokesperson for the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs proudly revealed that they…
Tempe, AZ: The release of 4-time NFL MVP quarterback and perennial forehead Peyton Manning by the Indianapolis Colts has sent shock-waves through the rest of the NFL as teams struggle to find their quarterbacks through trades, free agency, and more mock drafts than fantasy football has ever offered. While many believed that the greatest contenders for signing Peyton Manning were Arizona, Miami, Washington, and the Seahawks, interest was sparked from all corners of the league. Even Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots allegedly mentioned that having both of the arguable best quarterbacks in the league on the sidelines was a no-brainer. Salary-cap improvisations have already been enabled to make room for the quarterback’s required salary, as well as his other cut teammates from the Indianapolis Colts. After visiting with the Denver Broncos and Arizona Cardinals, the plan became clear: try out every team over the course of the 2012 season.
New Orleans, LA: The latest entry as “America’s Team” was delivered a crippling sack this past weekend, as former players opened allegations of knowledge and support of a bounty program against the New Orleans Saints’ former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams. However, many wonder why the Saints should be disciplined harshly, considering how horrible their defense has been in recent years.
Boston, MA: After over five years and almost $35 million, the impossible has happened: the Curt Schilling video game has arrived for computer and gaming consoles everywhere. Not to be confused with the medieval-based RPG that Curt Schilling’s new production company, 38 Studios, recently launched(Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning), this new first-person puzzle RPG lets gamers play as Curt Schilling during his retirement. Heralded as the epitome of reality gaming, Expert: 2012, as the Curt Schilling game is called, allows players to interact with active MLB players, retirees, officials, senators, and anyone else that you can get to listen to you in the hopes of gaining their trust, boosting your popularity, and finding your place in Major League Baseball’s Hall of Fame.
It comes as no surprise that one of the more stoic players on one of the most stoic professional football teams lead by the most stoic coach in the history of the game would be diplomatic in his approach to explaining a loss in the Super Bowl. Tom Brady, starting quarterback of the New England Patriots and future Hall-of-Famer, said all the right things during his press conference after Super Bowl XLVI in order to protect his teammates.
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to the games. It’s all but decided who our winners will be this year as our British bookie seems to be running away with the prize between the commentators. Luckily, no-one gave up on cracking a few jokes about the game. Next year, we hope to be bigger and better, and may even fit some fantasy football in the mix. Good luck players! We will post all winners with ridiculous presentation speeches later in the week.
Weston, MA: In celebration of the New England Patriots making it to their 5th Super Bowl in 10 years, coach Bill Belichick recently instigated plans for building a 4th gate on the property of his Massachusetts home this past week.
Welcome back, football fans, to our quasi-professional football picks! Each week we will pick game winners based on Vegas over/under lines, and add some sharp commentary to the games. While many of the winners in our contest seem to be in order down this last stretch, the most important game cannot be overlooked, for the sake of the NFL: the Pro Bowl! Where else can you see a scrimmage game between the top athletes that aren’t in the Super Bowl that means absolutely nothing? At least MLB’s All-Star game gives home-field advantage for the World Series.
University Park, PA: After only a few hours and minimal faulty news reports, reality was finally confirmed: Abe Vigoda is still alive. Unfortunately for legendary Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, Joe Paterno is not. The rumor of Joe Paterno’s passing came late Saturday night, however family members, including Paterno himself, denied the allegations until Sunday morning. “News of my passing came prematurely, but rest assured, I’m still here,” explained Paterno, still not fully aware during a press conference that he had died.