London, ENGLAND: Ideas have run rampant as to British singer/songwriter/rehab-jumper/addict Amy Winehouse’s cause of death. Some infer that drugs and/or alcohol and/or household cleaners may have been involved. Others believe that her body may have given out due to malnutrition. Some say it could have been suicide in correlation to a century-old cult that cries for the souls of 27 year old musicians. While the cause of death still has not been released, the most pinpoint speculation has arisen through how Amy Winehouse definitely did not perish.
What we will be comparing characters to? Simple: beer. Beer has such a wide range of classes and tastes to play against the range of classes and tastes of the players in Game of Thrones, and beer is easier to to make safe for work than, say, sexual positions, and everyone is drinking and sword-fighting. I don’t know anything about medieval swordplay, so I’ll stick with beer.
The life of a musical artist can be complicated. One moment they’re prancing around the stage in pants made of neon rubber bands and a Thundercats mask, and then dressed in a sweat-suit, sipping tea on Fashion Avenue. It can be confusing for fans, management, and even for the artists themselves. One of the most confusing of pop culture, Lady Gaga, was exposed this week for what she really is. Her closeted identity was brought out to the light, exposed for all the world to see, answering so many of the questions that had surrounded her in her career, from musical inclinations to fan base to what may have been in her pants. Lady Gaga is actually 36 year old Swedish electro anti-pop sensation Karin Dreijer Andersson, also known as Fever Ray.
Los Angeles, CA: The gossip columns surrounding Charlie Sheen, CBS, and Jon Cryer’s bank statements were finally silenced today as CBS and Warner Bros. confirmed that the show Two and a Half Men would continue on for one last season. The catch? Charlie Sheen would not be on set. Instead, America’s idiot Ashton Kutcher is set to take the reigns of the starring role, thus confirming the belief that the sitcom will go down in a ball of flames. The question remains, what dying-wail storyline will set the tone of the season?
While many believed Paltrow may end up in an all-nude hippie march on the White House after marrying Coldplay frontman Chris Martin and naming their first child Apple Blythe Alison and their second child Moses Bruce Anthony, the actress continued to stay the course, working on films such as Running with Scissors and the Iron Man franchise. Tragedy struck, however, when Gwyneth Paltrow wrote a song for the unknown film Country Strong, which then led to recording sessions, on role on the FOX musical Glee, a performance at The Grammy’s, and the possibility of a full length album.
New York, NY: For years, Kyle Travers has been a self-proclaimed indie music afficionado. When he first heard Sonic Youth’s “Bull In the Heather” at 14 years old. He was a die-hard Green Day fan for 2 years until they released their chart-topping album “Dookie”. He smashed his records, called Billy Joe Armstrong a sell-out, and never mentioned the band again. This decade’s band that has caused the music snob grief is Death Cab for Cutie, and rightly so by pretentious indie fanboys’ standards.
Hollywood, CA: The 83rd Annual Academy Awards ceremony held few surprises this weekend, as the greatest movie known to humanity, Machete, all but swept the awards. With a cast ranging from Cheech Marin to Robert De Niro and led by director Richard Rodriguez, the film overtook the ceremony so much that most nomination battles happened within the ranks of the film itself.
Los Angeles, CA: With the news release that the egg Lady Gaga arrived in at the Staples Center for the Grammy Awards had been her home for 72 hours, publicists and doctors alike have begun research to find out who else could benefit from being locked in a coccoon for such a length of time. The first obvious choice is Gaga’s co-entertainer of the night, Justin Bieber.
Los Angeles, CA: There’s only one day before the red carpet rollout for the 2011 People’s Choice Awards, and already an audience has overrun Chick Hearn Court and Olympic Boulevard. However, the throngs of crying and screaming fans aren’t high school girls hoping to catch sight of Justin Bieber. This year’s red carpet walls are made up of straight men, age 16-32. The reason? Mila Kunis is single.
Just in time for the holiday season, when everyone on the globe bulks up in order to make “dieting” their New Year’s resolution, another high-profile weight scandal has come to light in the city of New York. Jenifer ringer, the Sugar Plum Fairy for the Broadway production of The Nutcracker, has meat.