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The New NBA Bank Shot


The NBA is very close to allowing teams to put advertising on their players’ jerseys, following suit with such popular sports as soccer and NASCAR.

NBA Deputy Commissioner Adam Silver said the idea is being well received among team owners. “It’s fair to say that our teams were excited about the opportunity,” stated Silver.

Jason Kidd has already pitched Dewar’s and Johnny Walker Red to place ads on his uniform.  At first, the two whiskey companies balked, citing that the car Jason drove on his fateful DWI night was like Kidd playing defense: it flopped backwards before it hit anything.  The companies then decided to go forward “with this traveling ad campaign that will hit 32 major cities.”  After MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers), complained, the companies decided not to place their ads on Kidd’s uniform; citing, “MADD’s right.  Jason drove his car like he drives towards a basket: in stop and start zig-zags.”

The well-traveled and well-tattooed New York Knick JR Smith then announced, “If you pay me enough, you can put ads on my uniform, my face, my  two arms, and my, ahem, three legs. ”  He then had a “Rihanna 4 Ever Now” tattoo removed on his left bicep and sold this part of himself for “” website.

Not to be upstaged, Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig noted that MLB will sell ads on players.  Already, New York Met pitcher/permanent Disabled List member Johann Santana has sold his right arm’s ad space to AAA; its ad saying “Need repairs like this arm always does?  Call AAA!”  Upon hearing that Jewish Third Baseman Kevin Youkilis is a pitchman for “,” perennial celebrity dater and New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez has plans to market himself to multiple swingers websites.

The NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has not brought uniform advertising to the table with owners and the NFLPA, but the New Orleans Saints have been in contact with IO Interactive, the game developer that brought us the Hitman series, while Terrell Owens has begun marketing weekly rates for space on his uniform, provided he returns.

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