Plano, Texas: The snack company Frito-Lay amazed and impressed people in the spring of 2009 when it switched the packaging of its famous SunChips from a type of plastic bag to an Earth-friendly, plant-derived, biodegradable one. The company received accolades from environmental groups and Earth-friendly fatties across the country for taking such a huge step towards becoming a green corporation.

“They’re helping us make sure that our children will have a planet on which to watch their waistlines expand. It’s wonderful! What a great company!” stated one pleased SunChips fan after learning of the new packaging.

However, after only a year of being green, Frito-Lay is now giving up on trying to save the planet for future snack lovers. The company has decided to switch most of the SunChips bags back to the original, takes-a-gazillion-years-to-decompose plastic bags because snackers complained that the new packaging is “too noisy.”

Some critics question who in their right mind would eat food in a subway.

“I can’t eat them without drawing attention to myself!” complained one SunChips fan. “I just want to be able to gorge myself without people noticing.”

Suzy Frito, CEO of Frito-Lay, said that the move is unfortunate but their consumers’ needs trump the need to save the environment. “Sure, we want to be green and save the planet. But our loyalty is to our consumers. Without them and their constant purchasing of our snack foods, I wouldn’t be able to afford my Malibu beach house.”

The environmental groups that had previously praised Frito-Lay for its Earth-friendliness are now in an uproar.

“It’s downright ridiculous,” said Starfish MoonRainbow, president of Hippies Like to Eat Too!, a environmental group that monitors food corporations. “A big corporation is going to take a step backward because a couple of people don’t want a noisy chip bag reminding them that they should be on a treadmill instead of shoveling food in their mouths.”

“We’re going to find other ways to be Earth-friendly,” Suzy Frito responded, then laughed. “Just as soon as we find a way to make it profitable,” she added.