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Consumer Waits for “Next New Thing”

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New York, NY: Benjamin Harrington didn’t buy an iPhone when it first came out. He didn’t fight shoppers to pick up a Wii gaming system when it first came out. The Blackberry and Razr has been updated multiple times, yet Ben Harrington continued on with his bulky “size of his hand” cellular phone. After months of ridicule by his friends for being behind in this technological age, Mr. Harrington vowed to wait day and night for as long as it took to attain the next breakthrough in electronics, whatever it may be.Waiting in the city

     Like most people trying to be first in line for any new gadget that comes along, Mr. Harrington decided the best way to make sure he received this new device was to be waiting at the door until the store opened for business in the morning. So far that door has opened twenty-one times, but Ben has yet to enter it. “I’ve been camped out in front of this store for three weeks so far. Now who’s a die-hard techno-geek, Craig!” Mr. Harrington exclaimed to his absent friend as we spoke to him in front of his tent, pitched in the middle of the sidewalk at Times Square in New York City.

     It hasn’t been easy for the squatter. Police officers threaten to arrest him at least twice a day, thinking he is a homeless panhandler. Twice a passerby has tossed change into a fresh cup of coffee he was drinking, making him vomit. Luckily, with his trusty laptop computer to check in at work(he’s taking an extended physical leave of absence for a “mental crisis”) and a mother that can’t stand to think of her son on the city street uncared for(she brings him fresh clothes, food, and pillows), Mr. Harrington is waiting out whatever new device is down the pike in some sort of comfort.

     “It’s a pretty sweet set-up,” Harrington stated, “Although it’d be nicer if I had some company to keep me invigorated on those long nights.” We were unable to determine if Ben’s wink was because of dust, “cabin fever,” or a failure to comprehend if our journalist was male, but rest assured, this man will probably be spending many lonely nights by himself on the street, at least until Sony, Apple, Samsung, Microsoft, etc. release their newest product. Let’s hope he has enough to pay for it.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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