Tag: peyton manning
Eli Manning to Host SNL as a Tree
New York, NY: With this weekend’s announcement that New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning will be hosting NBC’s Saturday Night Live on May 5th, fans, both of the show and Eli, became anxious about what this would mean. Would it be as wildly successful as Peyton Manning’s 2007 hosting duties that led to numerous commercials? [...]
Chiefs Sign the Wrong Peyton
Kansas City, MO—Today a spokesperson for the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs proudly revealed that they had made a major free-agent acquisition, only to realize they had signed the wrong player. At a press conference this morning, Barry Werd, team spokesman, said, “As you know, the Chiefs have kept a large amount of salary cap space [...]
Manning to Try Out Teams for 2012 Season
Tempe, AZ: The release of 4-time NFL MVP quarterback and perennial forehead Peyton Manning by the Indianapolis Colts has sent shock-waves through the rest of the NFL as teams struggle to find their quarterbacks through trades, free agency, and more mock drafts than fantasy football has ever offered. While many believed that the greatest contenders for signing Peyton Manning were Arizona, Miami, Washington, and the Seahawks, interest was sparked from all corners of the league. Even Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots allegedly mentioned that having both of the arguable best quarterbacks in the league on the sidelines was a no-brainer. Salary-cap improvisations have already been enabled to make room for the quarterback’s required salary, as well as his other cut teammates from the Indianapolis Colts. After visiting with the Denver Broncos and Arizona Cardinals, the plan became clear: try out every team over the course of the 2012 season.
While We Were Bored: a Dedication to Eli Manning
He’s been jeered about his gigantic helmet, being compared to Dark Helmet from Spaceballs and Kazoo from The Flintstones. He’s been ridiculed about his on-the-field demeanor in the viral “Aw Shucks” nickname. He’s been labelled borderline retarded due to his faces, running ability, and decision-making. But that wasn’t enough for me. So I introduce to you my pictorial dedication to Eli Manning.
Colts Entertain 32 Team Draft Trade for Peyton Manning
Indianapolis, IN: With the implosion of usefulness to the NFL’s Indianapolis Colts after the neck surgery of franchise player/quarterback/coach/offensive, defensive, and special teams coordinator Peyton Manning, trade rumors have surfaced as the Colts become legitimate contenders to draft Andrew Luck as well as be labeled the worst team in NFL history. The only thing standing [...]
The Peyton Manning Domino Effect
Word has come down from the NFL brass about the state of one of the league’s best quarterbacks, and it is a fact that will make some fans cringe, and others (everyone but Colts fans) rejoice: Peyton Manning will most likely miss all of the 2011 season. Non-Colts fans, particularly those with teams in the AFC South, may already be celebrating wins on their game schedule, but the celebration is not without terror for the National Football League and its fans, for with the fall of Peyton Manning comes a domino effect of activity that may destroy the world as we know it.
Coach Obama Rallies for Dungy
In a piece of news not wholly unexpected, Tony Dungy, head football coach of the Indianapolis Colts, retired Sunday after a 13 year coaching career. Dungy began his head coaching career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers after a successful run as defensive coach and defensive coordinator for the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Minnesota Vikings.
However, in a stunning turn of events, President-Elect Barack Obama has been fielding many calls of congratulations on his “coaching career.” This seems to confirm the age old ‘they all look the same’ narrow-mindedness that was pervasive in the 1950s.
