Tag: horoscopes

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013

| April 11, 2013 | 0 Comments

The stars are bastards. They build you up only to break you down, then take the kids, the house, and all of your money so you’re left in a boarding house where you share a toilet with a sex offender named Marcus. Oh yeah, we’re talking about astrology. Here are your horoscopes. Suck it.   […]

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-18-2013

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-18-2013

| March 20, 2013 | 0 Comments

Well readers, I’m back. After going to Psychic School for a year (yes, it IS a thing), I have returned to do what I do best: tell you how to live your life, week to week, for the better. Or worse. Whatever I feel like, really. So, here are this week’s horrible horoscopes!     […]

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-28-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-28-2011

| November 29, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell your future, as far as he knows.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-15-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-15-2011

| November 15, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to misread the stars to prepare you for the week!

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 10-17-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 10-17-2011

| October 20, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw warns us about our future by telling us we are all doomed.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-30-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-30-2011

| June 1, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to give us a dose of horoscope surreality.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-28-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-28-2011

| March 28, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw reads the stars through a cloudy night in order to tell us what to expect. Allegedly.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-14-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-14-2011

| March 15, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell us how the coming week will treat us!

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-21-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-21-2011

| February 23, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell us how to live our lives, one life at a time.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 1-24-2011

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 1-24-2011

| January 26, 2011 | 0 Comments

Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to show how he illiterately reads the stars.

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