Tag: horoscopes
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 4-11-2013
The stars are bastards. They build you up only to break you down, then take the kids, the house, and all of your money so you’re left in a boarding house where you share a toilet with a sex offender named Marcus. Oh yeah, we’re talking about astrology. Here are your horoscopes. Suck it. [...]
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-18-2013
Well readers, I’m back. After going to Psychic School for a year (yes, it IS a thing), I have returned to do what I do best: tell you how to live your life, week to week, for the better. Or worse. Whatever I feel like, really. So, here are this week’s horrible horoscopes! [...]
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-28-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell your future, as far as he knows.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 11-15-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to misread the stars to prepare you for the week!
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 10-17-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw warns us about our future by telling us we are all doomed.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-30-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to give us a dose of horoscope surreality.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-28-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw reads the stars through a cloudy night in order to tell us what to expect. Allegedly.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 3-14-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell us how the coming week will treat us!
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 2-21-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to tell us how to live our lives, one life at a time.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 1-24-2011
Moonbeam Crenshaw returns to show how he illiterately reads the stars.
