Recent Articles
Shia LaBeouf Submits Meltdown for Oscar Consideration
In a recent excuse that fooled no one, former child actor and current Hollywood headcase Shia LaBeouf explained away his odd behavior these past few months by calling it performance art. Translated into English from the vague fulosheiten language LaBeouf was using, “performance art” means “I meant to do that.”
Bill Gates Begins Rampage Through Microsoft Campus
Bill Gates returns to Microsoft, and he is not amused.
Congress Votes to Ban “That Hook Thing That Scrapes Your Teeth at the Dentist”
Following President Barack Obama’s plea for Congress to finally work together to resolve disputes over issues such as healthcare reform and renewable energy sources, Congress has voted to ban dental scalers
World Bored by Another Woody Allen Scandal
In the latest development of Woody Allen’s life as a dirty old man, adopted daughter Dylan Farrow has implicated the actor/comedian/director in another round of sexual abuse allegations, which have become as obvious as his later films.
Which Personality Quiz Are You?
Lately, internet quizzes referencing your personality to a character in Star Wars, The Hunger Games, My Little Pony, etc. have been running rampant on the internet. But one personality reference remains: what sort of personality quiz are you?
World Offended by Coca-Cola’s “America the Beautiful” Super Bowl Commercial
The Super Bowl was once again a talking point for ridiculously serious political debate, even after the interview of President Obama by Bill O’Reilly, when Coca-Cola revealed it crown jewel of commercials: the singing of “America the Beautiful” in multiple languages.
World In Denial Over Death of Philip Seymour Hoffman
In the early stages of an investigation that absolutely no one wants to believe, actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his Greenwich Village apartment Sunday morning.
President Obama Institutes First State of the Union Brawl
The Station of the Union Address took an odd turn last night, as opposing party members physically assaulted each other rather than verbally.
World Sues Quentin Tarantino to Keep Him from Acting in The Hateful Eight
While Quentin Tarantino plans to sue Gawker Media, the world prepares to sue Quentin Tarantino.
Advancement in Prosthetic Limbs Met with Resistance, Requests for “Cool Robot Hands”
Artificial limb fashion takes a turn for the vintage as users of prosthetics want to look more robotic.
