Recent Articles
Russell Brand to Kickstart Apathetic Revolution
In an interview with BBC News broadcaster Jeremy Paxman on Newsnight, erratic comedian-turned erratic political theorist Russell Brand symbolically fired the latest shot of a revolution. An apathetic, philosophical revolution, but a revolution nonetheless.
Most Emotionally Distant Galaxy Discovered
In an exciting discovery, astronomers based in Hawaii’s Keck Observatory have confirmed the existence of the “most emotionally distant” galaxy yet.
Halloween Costumes for the Poor and Sarcastic: 2013 Edition
This year, we’re being pro-active in our approach to Halloween by telling you all what the top costumes of the season will be for the apathetic and sarcastic on a budget. At least, these are the costumes we hope to see.
Kansas Considers Corporate Sponsored Suicide Hotlines
In the wake of a $19 million dollar cut to mental health services, Kansas has begun courting corporate sponsors to pick up the rest of the bill.
Congress Celebrates Landmark Budget Punt
After settling on a budget deal last Wednesday, Congress met in front of the Capitol building for the traditional responsibility-punting ceremony.
NSA Leaks Reporter Leaves Guardian After Being Offered Amazing Position by Mysterious Man in Black
Journalist Glenn Greenwald from the Guardian receives dream opportunity from man in black.
Street Vendors Take to NYC Streets Hoping to be Mistaken for Banksy
NY street vendors strive to be mistaken for Bansky himself in the hopes of selling their work for at least 10 times their asking price. Or even just their original asking price.
Stores Push Black Friday into Thanksgiving, Plan to Serve Dinner
The most logical way to abandon the national family dinner altogether on Thanksgiving would be for stores to serve turkey dinner at their entrances.
Politicians Begin Training for Side Jobs During Shutdown
Most senators are optimistic that a deal will be arranged to reopen the government and extend the debt ceiling, but some politicians are not so sure.
Robots Revealed that Cannot be Pushed Over, have Cupholders
In an effort to showcase the most useless ideas in robotics, Boston Dynamics unveiled Atlas and WildCat.
