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Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions

Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions

| May 30, 2014 | 0 Comments

Google has halted production on their line of self-driving cars after the prototypes reportedly started becoming self-aware.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-26-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-26-2014

| May 27, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Local Man Forgets About Memorial Day

Local Man Forgets About Memorial Day

| May 26, 2014 | 0 Comments

For local resident Charles Montgomery, this Memorial Day was all but remembered as he found himself locked outside of the office building he visits daily for work.

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Chipotle Asks Customers Not to Bring Their Ancient, Mystical Weapons Into Restaurants

Chipotle Asks Customers Not to Bring Their Ancient, Mystical Weapons Into Restaurants

| May 22, 2014 | 0 Comments

Chipotle Mexican Grill has formally requested that customers leave behind their ancient weapons of unspecified mystical power when eating at their restaurants.

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Pistorius to Undergo Psych Evaluation to Prove He Is Crazy for Killing Extremely Hot Girlfriend

Pistorius to Undergo Psych Evaluation to Prove He Is Crazy for Killing Extremely Hot Girlfriend

| May 21, 2014 | 0 Comments

Oscar Pistorius will undergo a month-long psychiatric evaluation to prove he is crazy for killing his extremely hot girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-19-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-19-2014

| May 21, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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Donald Sterling Calls Racist Press Conference to Apologize for the Last Racist Apology

Donald Sterling Calls Racist Press Conference to Apologize for the Last Racist Apology

| May 16, 2014 | 0 Comments

Donald Sterling is returning to the spotlight to apologize once again. Today Sterling called for a press conference outside of his home to address statements he made during his interview with Anderson Cooper, where he was set to apologize for his initial remarks.

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FCC Votes on Net Neutrality. Internet Providers to Charge $5 per User to See Results

FCC Votes on Net Neutrality. Internet Providers to Charge $5 per User to See Results

| May 15, 2014 | 0 Comments

The results of the FCC voting on net neutrality are in, but have not been released due to “content providers that do not pay for prioritized access.”

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Ben Affleck is… Sad Batman

Ben Affleck is… Sad Batman

| May 14, 2014 | 0 Comments

If there was every any question that casting Ben Affleck as Batman was a mistake, we give you… Sad Batman.

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Michael Sam Kiss Forces Athletes to Address PDAs with Significant Others

Michael Sam Kiss Forces Athletes to Address PDAs with Significant Others

| May 13, 2014 | 0 Comments

Athletes and fans fear what public displays of affection will do to their blood-thirsty game.

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