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Tinder Lawsuit Evidence Not as Funny when Replacing “Dick” with “Penis”

Tinder Lawsuit Evidence Not as Funny when Replacing “Dick” with “Penis”

| July 2, 2014 | 0 Comments

A sexual harassment lawsuit made great strides yesterday in eradicating the humor of word usage when representatives of plaintiff Whitney Wolfe introduced evidence where defendant Sean Rad had sent her a text subtly referring to his boss Barry Diller as a “penis.”

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Ann Coulter Doesn’t Know Soccer, or Sports in General

Ann Coulter Doesn’t Know Soccer, or Sports in General

| June 30, 2014 | 1 Comment

Ann Coulter goes off on soccer as I go off on her for going off on soccer.

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Rodman Cancels North Korea Visit Due to Seth Rogen Movie

Rodman Cancels North Korea Visit Due to Seth Rogen Movie

| June 26, 2014 | 0 Comments

With Seth Rogen’s politically charged comedy, The Interview, creating more buzz than an army of George Bush Jr. clones, vacation travel by to North Korea has dropped by almost 90%.

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Eric Cantor Defeated in Primary by Small Guppy Named Pedro

Eric Cantor Defeated in Primary by Small Guppy Named Pedro

| June 12, 2014 | 1 Comment

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was handed an historic defeat in the Republican primary yesterday by a local house pet.

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Pitbull On Schedule to Release Another Piece of Shit Album

Pitbull On Schedule to Release Another Piece of Shit Album

| June 11, 2014 | 0 Comments

Fans of corporate and thoughtless music rejoiced today in the news that Pitbull is on schedule to release yet another giant piece of shit.

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Jack White’s Ego to Release Solo Album

Jack White’s Ego to Release Solo Album

| June 6, 2014 | 0 Comments

After several years of notable collaboration, Jack White’s Ego announced he is splitting with his mentor in favor of making his own music.

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Study: Hurricane Researchers Really Don’t Know Women

Study: Hurricane Researchers Really Don’t Know Women

| June 3, 2014 | 0 Comments

In a recent study on the study of how the gender of a hurricane’s name affects the public’s fear of the storm, it has been found that most researchers don’t interact with women.

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Space Tollbooths Unveiled by Transit Authorities Following Progress of SpaceX

Space Tollbooths Unveiled by Transit Authorities Following Progress of SpaceX

| May 30, 2014 | 0 Comments

With the unveiling of Dragon V2 by SpaceX, the combined efforts of multiple transit authorities in the United States such as the MTA, CTA, METRO, and MBTA have unveiled a prototype of their own: the space tollbooth.

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Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions

Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions

| May 30, 2014 | 0 Comments

Google has halted production on their line of self-driving cars after the prototypes reportedly started becoming self-aware.

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Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-26-2014

Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-26-2014

| May 27, 2014 | 0 Comments

Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.

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