Recent Articles
Space Tollbooths Unveiled by Transit Authorities Following Progress of SpaceX
With the unveiling of Dragon V2 by SpaceX, the combined efforts of multiple transit authorities in the United States such as the MTA, CTA, METRO, and MBTA have unveiled a prototype of their own: the space tollbooth.
Google’s Self-Driving Cars Kidnapping Testers, Exhibiting Emotions
Google has halted production on their line of self-driving cars after the prototypes reportedly started becoming self-aware.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-26-2014
Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.
Local Man Forgets About Memorial Day
For local resident Charles Montgomery, this Memorial Day was all but remembered as he found himself locked outside of the office building he visits daily for work.
Chipotle Asks Customers Not to Bring Their Ancient, Mystical Weapons Into Restaurants
Chipotle Mexican Grill has formally requested that customers leave behind their ancient weapons of unspecified mystical power when eating at their restaurants.
Pistorius to Undergo Psych Evaluation to Prove He Is Crazy for Killing Extremely Hot Girlfriend
Oscar Pistorius will undergo a month-long psychiatric evaluation to prove he is crazy for killing his extremely hot girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.
Horrible Horoscopes: Week of 5-19-2014
Your future never looked so horrible. Trust Moonbeam Crenshaw. He reads the stars better than words.
Donald Sterling Calls Racist Press Conference to Apologize for the Last Racist Apology
Donald Sterling is returning to the spotlight to apologize once again. Today Sterling called for a press conference outside of his home to address statements he made during his interview with Anderson Cooper, where he was set to apologize for his initial remarks.
FCC Votes on Net Neutrality. Internet Providers to Charge $5 per User to See Results
The results of the FCC voting on net neutrality are in, but have not been released due to “content providers that do not pay for prioritized access.”
Ben Affleck is… Sad Batman
If there was every any question that casting Ben Affleck as Batman was a mistake, we give you… Sad Batman.
