Recent Articles
Special Agent Found Tied Up in Rucksack, Weighted Down with Cinder Blocks, and Locked Up With Chains’ Death Likely “Accidental”
After a full investigation, City of London Chief Inspector David Hammond has ruled the death of MI6 agent Richard Moore a “very unfortunate accident.”
Cards Against Humanity Releases Holiday Bullsh*t
The good people of Cards Against Humanity have released a treat for only the bravest derelicts. It’s called “12 Days of Bullshit” where, for $12, they will send you 12 gifts over 12 days starting in early December.
North Koreans Executed for Watching George Clooney Movies
North Korea continued to put more pressure over its people as, earlier this month, eighty people were executed in public displays for watching George Clooney movies.
Blockbuster Reminds Customers of Existence by Closing Stores
Blockbuster, the home movie rental company that had introduced the American family to such historical relics as “VHS tapes” and “DVDs,” surprised consumers by alerting them to the fact that, yes, Blockbuster is still in business before closing stores.
Vote to Extend Breaking Bad Goes Unheeded
The American public became just a bit more jaded by politics yesterday, as the most coordinated write-in vote in the history of US elections was left ignored.
Johnson & Johnson Discontinues Antipsychotics for Kids Line
Johnson & Johnson has announced its decision to suspend its effort to market antipsychotics to children.
Congress Celebrates Survival of Election Day 2013
Election Day 2013 went off with minor casualties yesterday, as all current members of the United States House of Representatives and the Senate were victorious in protecting their places in government legislation.
Russia Pleads for Snowden to Release Bogus Secrets on Website
To have Snowden performing analyses and maintenance on the site could allow the release of fake reports and foreign policy that would make Russia feared once again, by more than just gay Olympic athletes.
Scientists Celebrate Failure to Find Jack Sh-t in Dark Matter
Scientists were proud to exclaim that they haven’t found jack shit in evidence of dark matter using the LUX.
Say It with Star Wars: Halloween
Sometimes it’s hard to place Star Wars references into a holiday. Halloween is almost impossible.
