RSSCategory: National

Congress Celebrates Survival of Election Day 2013

Congress Celebrates Survival of Election Day 2013

| November 6, 2013 | 0 Comments

Election Day 2013 went off with minor casualties yesterday, as all current members of the United States House of Representatives and the Senate were victorious in protecting their places in government legislation.

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Scientists Celebrate Failure to Find Jack Shit in Dark Matter

Scientists Celebrate Failure to Find Jack Shit in Dark Matter

| October 30, 2013 | 0 Comments

Scientists were proud to exclaim that they haven’t found jack shit in evidence of dark matter using the LUX.

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Congress Celebrates Landmark Budget Punt

Congress Celebrates Landmark Budget Punt

| October 21, 2013 | 0 Comments

After settling on a budget deal last Wednesday, Congress met in front of the Capitol building for the traditional responsibility-punting ceremony.

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Street Vendors Take to NYC Streets Hoping to be Mistaken for Banksy

Street Vendors Take to NYC Streets Hoping to be Mistaken for Banksy

| October 16, 2013 | 0 Comments

NY street vendors strive to be mistaken for Bansky himself in the hopes of selling their work for at least 10 times their asking price. Or even just their original asking price.

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Politicians Begin Training for Side Jobs During Shutdown

Politicians Begin Training for Side Jobs During Shutdown

| October 14, 2013 | 0 Comments

Most senators are optimistic that a deal will be arranged to reopen the government and extend the debt ceiling, but some politicians are not so sure.

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Robots Revealed that Cannot be Pushed Over, have Cupholders

Robots Revealed that Cannot be Pushed Over, have Cupholders

| October 11, 2013 | 0 Comments

In an effort to showcase the most useless ideas in robotics, Boston Dynamics unveiled Atlas and WildCat.

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Americans Apply Shutdown Strategy to Life

Americans Apply Shutdown Strategy to Life

| October 11, 2013 | 0 Comments

Throughout America, citizens have begun applying the government shutdown method to their normal way of life.

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Proprietors of Kobuk Valley National Park Unaware of Any Changes

Proprietors of Kobuk Valley National Park Unaware of Any Changes

| October 3, 2013 | 0 Comments

One day after the U.S. government shut down operations, the proprietors and caretakers of Kobuk Valley National Park, one of the least visited national parks in the United States, appear to be completely unaware of anything different.

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Congress Stages Protest Against Congress

Congress Stages Protest Against Congress

| October 3, 2013 | 0 Comments

With government shutdown now a reality, Representatives and Senators have taken to the streets in protest.

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IRS Consoles Public During Government Shutdown

IRS Consoles Public During Government Shutdown

| October 2, 2013 | 0 Comments

Good news, everyone! Although the government has shut down, our valiant employees at the IRS will continue to collect your hard-earned money and audit your businesses.

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