The debates about climate change, both politically and scientifically, had seemingly become a stalemate. Both global warming supporters and detractors(or, the other way around) began mud-slinging during discussions, which brings the natural assumption that neither side knows what is happening, and what can be corrected if there is, indeed, anything wrong.
A dentist elf at the North Pole has been arrested and charged with possession of an illicit substance during the Christmas season.
After nearly 59 years of being considered legendary, miraculous, and even a little “fruity,” the secret behind late musical entertainer Liberace and his rhinestone suits and faux-fur coats may have finally been brought out of the closet and into the light.
On Tuesday, a Paris court convicted the Church of Scientology of fraud and fined it more than half a million euros, which is a lot of money, we think — but stopped short of banning the group as requested by prosecutors. This has come as a shock to at least a dozen people in the world, Tom Cruise among them.
Malaysia abruptly granted a Ramadan reprieve to the first Muslim Malay woman to be sentenced to caning for farting, but insisted Monday that the thrashing would still take place after the Islamic holy month of fasting.
Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, a 32 year-old mother of two, had been en route to a women’s prison for the caning when the Islamic officials who took her into custody drove her back home and released her. Dewi Shukarno insisted that it was an honest mistake. “My family has always thought that it was the Islamic holy month of farting, not fasting.”
The free world was once again saved by the cunning linguistics of former President of the United States Bill Clinton, when he negotiated the release of two journalists from North Korea.
The journalists, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, were arrested a little over four months ago for entering the country of North Korea illegally and engaging in “hostile acts” such as chewing gum and wearing skirts that didn’t cover their knees. They were sentenced to 12 years of hard labor.
This past Sunday, the rest of the globe held its collective breaths as the country of North Korea, under high pressure from world powers to desist, launched their latest three-stage Taeopodong-2 rocket. The rocket was initially advertised by North Korea as a satellite launcher, while the rest of the globe believed it to be a missle test for air defense.
“It was hard to believe such an ethnocentric communist regime as North Korea’s would care what lies beyond the Earth’s atmosphere. Unless they were going to try to conquer it,” stated Pentagon spokesperson Robin Guillera. “We do have footage of Kim Jong-il rallying North Korean nationalism against the sun, calling it a lying Western pig and such, but we also believe he was drunk, since it was around the same time that he recorded ‘Fresh Jong-il’ during his earlier hip-hop days.”
Emotions have run high in many Iranian cities this week. Some believe this to be caused by the election results in Iran where incumbent president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was declared the winner over reform candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi among others. Many supporters of Mousavi allegedly believed that the election was rigged in order to give Ahmadinejad the easy victory.
Because of a closed view to foreign journalists, it has been near impossible to clarify the story. Luckily, using logic and reason, we at The Inept Owl have been able to uncover the truth about the riots in Iran. It is highly likely that these riots are due to the Los Angeles Lakers defeating the Orlando Magic in the NBA Finals.
Just as fear of swine flu began sweeping across North America, scientists in Europe noticed an even more disturbing trend: the spread of the common cold. While the common cold has been around for years, the recent increase in concern about the spread of disease has made this a much more pressing issue in the eyes of public health officials.