Bob Bordus of the Straight Marriage for Maryland group has finally added a new argument in the anti-gay marriage arsenal. “Gay marriage is the gateway marriage. Just like marijuana is the gateway drug,” said Bordus during a testimony he gave before the Maryland legislature. “If gay marriage is made legal, it won’t be long before all sorts of marriages are made legal. People will be trying to marry robots!”
Munich, GERMANY: The Nutrition Journal recently published a study that suggests that eating a large breakfast regularly can lead to weight gain. Meanwhile, the public, specifically the American public, has been told for three hundred years that the right way to start the day is with a big breakfast. Many have taken “big breakfast” to mean “eat so much that you can’t button your pants afterwards.”
What is going on with these SEXY ROYALS ?
No sooner is The Princess Of The Dianna Of The Whales killed and buried in a French tunnel by the GREEK Mafia over a Knightsbridge TURF dispute, and nothing to do with Land-Mines or ‘Marrying the Moozers’ apparently allegedley, then they’re AT IT AGAIN !
Germany: Santa Claus–that jolly, round guy in red, loved by children around the world–will not be visiting Germany this December. German Catholics, led by Bonifatiuswerk, a German Catholic aid organization, are on a campaign to declare the country a “Santa-Free Zone.”
Officials in South Africa are mystified by a tremendous surge in homicides that involve vuvuzelas. Recent crime statistics have shown that the low-key, lovable horn occasionally used by soccer fans is being used for a much darker purpose.
Going on a month, the British Petroleum oil rig that exploded in the Gulf of Mexico is still leaking oil into the ocean, threatening ocean life, fishing prospects, and the beaches of thousands of retired New Yorkers.
BP task forces have tried multiple ways to plug and clean the disaster with slow progress. Tactics have included chemical sprays, burning off the oil, and having having Cyndi Lauper swim around to absorb oil like a dried-up…sponge. While all of these actions have helped the situation slightly, the oil continues to seep into the Gulf.
Washington, DC: Prompted by the case of Artyom Savelyev, Russia is implementing a “No Child Return Policy” when it comes to foreign adoptions.
Savelyev, a 7 year old Russian boy, was adopted in September 2009 by Torry Hansen, a 33 year old Tennessee woman. After only seven months of mothering, Hansen grew fearful of the boy and gave him a one-way ticket back to Russia.
For quite some time now, Monsters who find themselves afoul of the laws in New York State have also found themselves square against an unyielding wall of the harshest punishments imaginable, most times without the benefit of a fair trial or representation.
Experts most often cite the case of New York v. King Kong:
Last week, Mount Heyyaeffallayouall erupted in Iceland, throwing countless tons of ash and smoke into the air. After a week of EU-mandated no-fly zones over most of Europe caused by the eruption, scheduled flights have resumed. However, with airlines clamoring for the European Union to reimburse them for $1.7 billion in lost revenue, government officials are already turning an eye to the future.
This past Wednesday, actor/martial artist/worldwide hero Chuck Norris turned 70, prompting a whole new round of orgiastic internet squees from basement-dwelling dorks across the globe. More important than the actor’s birthday, however, was the anniversary of the the advent of Chuck Norris jokes, which have turned 12,010 years old.