Here’s a revolutionary idea: you could also ask your kid to read a book every once in awhile. Remember those? They used to be “all the rage” before a fellow by the name of Philo Farnsworth came around with his newest invention, the television. So maybe you should try turning off the fancy invention every once in a while, ignore the consternation sure to follow, and suggest your kid focus on learning from literature instead of becoming immersed in twelve hour ‘MTV’s The Real World’ marathons.
People Magazine has shelled out a reported fourteen million dollars (Yes, you read that right. Fourteen. Million. Dollars.) in exchange for photographs of the guaranteed-to-be-insanely-beautiful-as-they-grow-older twins (Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon? What, Jennifer Lynn and Bobby Joe weren’t good enough?) who have sprung forth from the loins of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.
On Tuesday, the U.S. House of Representatives formally apologized for the “fundamental injustice, cruelty, brutality, and inhumanity” of slavery and the legal segregation of African-Americans. Which, of course, as Martha Stewart would say, is “a good thing.” The apology took more than 143 years (which, coincidentally, is John McCain’s age) to come to fruition.
However, I don’t believe that the U.S. House of Representatives should stop there. I would officially like to submit my request that they apologize for the following things as well (and, please, don’t let 143 years pass by before doing so).