Canadians Mourn, Americans Unaware of NHL Lockout
This week marks the beginning of at least two weeks of canceled professional hockey games due to a league-wide lockout–much…
Review of The Avett Brothers’ “The Carpenter”
Apparently I owe my thousands of readers an apology. It appears I suck as a music reviewer. No no, please…
Obama Hits Reddit; Romney to Answer Questions on Myspace
This week, President Barack Obama visited the well-known unoriginal-content-spreading site reddit to reach out to voters. Obama, who has always…
Storms Cause Critical Loss to Millions
Columbus, OH: As cleanup begins following a line of storms that tore through the Midwest on Friday, millions of people…
Canada Nixes Penny; US to Reintroduce Half Cent
Toronto, Canadialand—Today, the Canadian government announced a decision to no longer use the Canadian penny. Due to inflation, a lack…
Chiefs Sign the Wrong Peyton
Kansas City, MO—Today a spokesperson for the NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs proudly revealed that they had made a major free-agent…
Ohio Man Has Never Heard Mariah Carey Christmas Songs
Berea, OH: Earlier this week, scientists made a one-of-a-kind discovery: a man who has never once listened to a Christmas…
Occupy Wall Street to Become Occupy Macy’s
New York City--Having been kicked out of various parks, bridges, and underpasses across New York City, the two-month-old Occupy Wall…
Papa John to Enter Presidential Race
Louisville, KY: Bolstered by the success of former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain in early Republican polling, the founder of…
Review of Hugh Laurie’s “Let Them Talk”
This is what happens when you give every kid in the soccer league a trophy. This is what happens when…