Author Archive: Beta Boy
From The DVD Bin: Severance
Take the Americanized Office television show, make it British again and change their paper company to a military defense company like Northrop Grumman, but more accessible and friendly. Send the group of them into the woods to a run-down military asylum where they are hunted like animals by blood-thirsty psychos, and you have the rip-roaring horror comedy that is Severance .
Santa Boy’s Xmas Movie List
When it comes to Christmas spirit, I usually go to the DVD collection for my background noise. Some of these films are classics. Some are most definitely not(except in my own mind). Some of them stop me from wrapping presents and decorating so I can make some spiked hot chocolate and laugh my ass off. The one thing they all have in common is that they infect me with the Christmas spirit, for better or for worse.
Movie Review: Bad Biology
A tale of passion, jealousy, and some pretty wild sexual organs: Frank Henenlotter, director of Basket Case, Brain Damage, and Frankenhooker fame returns to horror cinema with Bad Biology.
James Bond Review #2: From Russia With Love
Beta Boy continues his obsessive James Bond movie reviews with From Russia With Love.
From Russia With Love continues Sean Connery’s fame as arguably the best James bond of the series. It is also one of Connery’s favorite bond films, one which introduces secret agent gadgets with Desmond Llewelyn as the “Q” we all know and love. We also see the well known numbering system of villains, a bald villian with a cat, and a bond girl with a non-sexual name. Make no mistake, these things make for an excellent bond movie.
Zack and Miri Make Box Office Bank: A Review
Have you ever though making a porno would be easy? Then go see Kevin Smith’s Zack and Miri Make a Porno and learn about film production, romance, and alternatives to Ex-Lax and prune juice.
Horror Holiday: A Movie List
With Halloween weekend upon us, I figured I should share a few of the horror movies that I hold dear. That way, you know exactly what to go pick up for your own horror-fests. These are only short reviews so you will know exactly what you are in for if you watch any of these.
This Movie Should Be Quarantined: A Review
Rick Bernardo comes up with a perfectly cheesy article title for a perfectly cheesy movie, Quarantine .
From the DVD Bin: Otis
Otis is the story of a forty-something year-old pedophile named Otis(played by new-comer Boston Christopher) who is looking for a date for the prom. He does the right things, asking a girl’s parents for permission to date their daughter, rocking out the old school Trans-Am, throwing around the old pig skin, calling the girl on the telephone all the time, and working hard as a pizza delivery boy. The problem is, he does this all after kidnapping the girls and locking them in his basement, torturing them mentally and physically, and usually killing them, accidentally.
From the DVD Bin: Teeth
Beta Boy reminisces on his fears of the va-jay-jay, both past and present, in his review of Teeth.
Once every few decades, there comes a movie that you have to love. No, I don’t mean that it’s such a good film that saying it’s a bad movie will destroy all your credibility of a film critic or “that guy at the bar that knows everything about movies.” I mean, you have to love this movie for fear of being labeled a sexist, or racist, or a fascist because it is such great social commentary.
From The DVD Bin: Botched
Upon watching Stephen Dorff’s Botched, I think I am being fair when I say that this was a horrible script surrounded by a great cast and intense execution. What does that really mean? I’m not too sure, but I’ll sure as hell try to explain it.
Botched, directed by newcomer Kit Ryan and written by Derek Boyle, Eamon Friel, and Raymond Friel, introduces us to Ritchie Donovan, a professional thief with a streak of bad luck(played by Stephen Dorff of SFW and Blade fame).
