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Asinine Election Analysis 2016: John McAfee


Our asinine political analysis breaks down dark horse Libertarian presidential candidate John McAfee.


Name: John McAfee

Nickname: Binary Fingers

Political Affiliation: Libertarian Party. Formerly of the Cyber Party until people started jumping into their online chatrooms typing, “A/S/L, let’s f*k.”

Status: Acting like the badass of computer science

Known For:  Developing the first commercial anti-virus application. Probably created the Trojan Horse virus that led to the need for such anti-virus applications. Reminds people of what probably became of Lewis Skolnick in a reality-based version of the Revenge of the Nerds franchise.

Likes: Yoga, jailbreaking Apple products, natural medicine

Dislikes: Computers, smartphones, McAfee Anti-virus, now known as Intel Security

Public Outlook: John McAfee is seen as what happens when nerds go bad, which makes him an interesting presidential prospect. After breaking ground in the world of computer anti-virus protection, McAfee did what any computer science nerd would do: got tattooed and moved to Belize with seven women to do yoga and grow herbs. It’s the Flower Generation’s dream life.

Pros: Vladimir Putin has nothing on the coolness scale of John McAfee.

Cons: McAfee is seventy years old. Eventually, having a president that acts like your creepy grandfather that is desperately trying to be hip is going to get… old.

Quote: “You’ll see a movie about someone you hate or someone you love. Will you see a movie about grandma making apple pies? No, you won’t. Only if grandma has poisoned the neighbor or is suspected of poisoning the neighbor through her apple pies.”

Check out all of the 2016 presidential candidates by clicking here.

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Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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