Our asinine political analysis breaks down dark horse Libertarian presidential candidate John McAfee.
Name: John McAfee
Nickname: Binary Fingers
Political Affiliation: Libertarian Party. Formerly of the Cyber Party until people started jumping into their online chatrooms typing, “A/S/L, let’s f*k.”
Status: Acting like the badass of computer science
Known For: Developing the first commercial anti-virus application. Probably created the Trojan Horse virus that led to the need for such anti-virus applications. Reminds people of what probably became of Lewis Skolnick in a reality-based version of the Revenge of the Nerds franchise.
Likes: Yoga, jailbreaking Apple products, natural medicine
Dislikes: Computers, smartphones, McAfee Anti-virus, now known as Intel Security
Public Outlook: John McAfee is seen as what happens when nerds go bad, which makes him an interesting presidential prospect. After breaking ground in the world of computer anti-virus protection, McAfee did what any computer science nerd would do: got tattooed and moved to Belize with seven women to do yoga and grow herbs. It’s the Flower Generation’s dream life.
Pros: Vladimir Putin has nothing on the coolness scale of John McAfee.
Cons: McAfee is seventy years old. Eventually, having a president that acts like your creepy grandfather that is desperately trying to be hip is going to get… old.
Quote: “You’ll see a movie about someone you hate or someone you love. Will you see a movie about grandma making apple pies? No, you won’t. Only if grandma has poisoned the neighbor or is suspected of poisoning the neighbor through her apple pies.”