Our asinine political analysis breaks down Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein.
Name: Dr. Jill Stein
Nickname: That Damn Hippie
Political Affiliation: Green Party
Known For: Running for president as a 3rd party candidate with the intention of winning.
Likes: Civil Rights, Mother Earth, Getting Arrested, Woodstock Revivals
Dislikes: Pollution, Common Core, The Man
Public Outlook: Dr. Jill Stein has touted herself as the presidential choice when Bernie Sanders’ fails to gain enough super-delegates, stating, “We will be the Plan B for Bernie.” She’s also not one of those candidates that says, “I got arrested” to look cool. She’s still getting arrested for civil disobedience, although her marches are getting fewer and further between with age.
Pros: Jill Stein has much more hipster points than Bernie Sanders.
Cons: May have to pardon herself multiple times while in office.
Quote: “Hillary is the Wal-Mart candidate.”