Cedar Rapids, IA – With the Iowa caucuses for the Republican Party and Democratic Party at stake, campaign workers canvased the state of Iowa, both on the phone and in person, in order to try and solidify votes for their candidates.

One Iowa man has had enough. Cedar Rapids resident Marshall Walker has decided that he will vote for the presidential candidate that annoys him the least in trying to secure his vote.

“Every four years, it’s the same thing,” Walker stated. “My phone is constantly interrupting my dinner, only to have me find and automated message on the other end, reminding me to vote for so-and-so. Campaign volunteers attacking my doorbell more than Jehovah’s Witnesses. I just want to be left alone, dammit!”

Walker’s story is like many potential voters throughout the country. While information on the candidates is always helpful, some citizens feel like they’re being bombarded by names more so than issues.

“I have a television. I have a radio. I have enough ‘Vote for me, not the other person!’ information to scramble my brain,” explained Walker. “What I want is a candidate that will leave me alone. That’s the sort of change I can believe in.”

As a registered voter for the Democratic Party, Walker believes that his vote in the polls will probably go to Martin O’Malley or Roque De La Fuente. “I haven’t heard must about these two guys, just the way i like my candidates.”

Walker was on his way to the regional polling station when he was accidentally run down by a Bernie Bus.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.

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