Welcome back to another entry of In Case You Wish You Missed It, the news you wish wouldn’t happen but, somehow, does.
Last week, The Trump campaign to make America deranged again seemed to have hit its peak when living Chatty Cathy: Grownup Muscle Car Spokesmodel Edition took the stage in support of Donald Trump becoming president. At least, that’s what we think she was saying as she tossed out one incomprehensible slogan after another.
How can anyone top that for an American version of a Nuremberg Rally? Donald Trump tried his best.
At a campaign rally in Sioux Center, Iowa this weekend, Trump gave us yet another comparison to such despots as Saddam Hussein and Muammar Gaddafi by stating, “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” I don’t know whether to feel sorry for his supporters for having a leader that thinks so little of them, or fearful that this could play out to an ending like some of the most notorious totalitarian regimes in history. Hopefully it is neither, and this is all being taped for a new version of television’s Candid Camera. I am going to blush so hard…
But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m in the minority, and this nation really needs a good, old-fashioned dictatorship where people can be shot in the street without consequence and news reporters are, “Uh, let’s see, uh? I would never [kill them]” and there are demilitarized zones between us and Mexico and probably Canada at some point and at the center of it all is a sweaty guy with bad hair and a big ego with his finger on the button.
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I thought we were laughing at North Korea all this time.