Pyongyang, N. KOREA — In an effort to promote their respect for international human rights, North Korea released a marketing campaign recently in order to showcase the improvements the country has made to its treatment of prisoners in labor camps and farms. These promotions were mostly in regard to Matthew Miller, the American recently sentenced to six years for “hostile acts,” a term that encompasses anything from an assassination attempt to having the wrong haircut.

One of the claims of North Korea is that the terms “labor camp” and “work farm” are misunderstood to the general public. “Those not as advanced as the people of North Korea translate ‘labor’ and ‘work’ as bad things,” explained North Korean Minister of Explaining Things to Make Them Sound Better, Ken Soo-yung. “But in our Korean, those works actually mean ‘fun camp’ and ‘happy dream farm of magic.’ Who wouldn’t want to go to fun camps and happy dream farm?”

Ken continued to explain that “hard labor” is really “super fun-time,” that “straw beds” really means “king-sized beds of fluffy clouds” and that “public beatings by guards” really means “love hugs.”

When asked what the term “Minister of Explaining Things to Make Them Sound Better” really means, Ken answered, “Whatever Dear Leader says it means.”

By Patrick AE

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