Photo: Sean Haffey
Photo: Sean Haffey

Oakland, CA— Following the vote by the Federal Communications Commission to end blackout rules for sporting events, fans of some NFL teams have voiced their displeasure over the ruling, claiming that broadcasting their team’s games on local stations will cause unfounded depression within their communities. Opponents of the FCC ruling include fans of the Oakland Raiders, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Tennessee Titans.

The rule in question calls for the blackout of sporting events on local television that do not sell out or reach a certain sales threshold. For decades, the NFL has been the strongest proponent to holding up this rule, citing fan well-being and billions of dollars.

“When fans don’t fill up the stadium of their local team, they’re telling us something,” stated NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. “They’re telling us, ‘Please spare us the agony of watching our terrible football team,’ and we have supported their decision by having games blacked out. This FCC ruling will take that choice away from fans, as they will be forced to come to terms with their horrible local football teams every Sunday.”

“You mean I’ll have to watch the Bucs lose on television instead of re-runs of MacGuyver? That’s just wrong,” stated Tampa resident James Allen.

“I used to love going into a local bar on a Sunday and seeing MLS games on every screen,” explained Oakland resident Doreen Baker. “Now I’ll have to watch those games by myself at home, because every bar will probably be playing Raiders games to depress customers and make them drink more.”

“Sunday is meant to be a day of rest, like The Lord did,” stated Nashville local Leonard Bushrod. “Sunday is not meant to be a day of pain and anguish like the Titans have brought us week after week.”

No Jaguars fans were on-hand for a quote, due to their stadium selling a steady amount of tickets to their games, which also comes with admission to the swimming pools at EverBank Field.

By Patrick AE

Patrick is the man behind the man behind the site behind the man.... When he isn't writing for The Inept Owl, saving penguins from Hulk Hogan, and other activities that could be either truths or lies, he's editing everything else.