Pretoria, SOUTH AFRICA— It has been over a year since paralympian Oscar Pistorius was charged with the murder of his model girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp. With the trial two months in, Pistorius’ defense is playing the card that most people thought when they saw Pistorius with Steenkamp: the insanity card. This is due to the idea that no sane person could ever think of murdering a girlfriend that hot, particularly a girlfriend that like you even without legs.
“Just look at her [Reeva],” stated self-described analyst of extremely hot women Paul Emmerlan. “Pistorius should have woken up every day thinking, ‘Wow. How did I end up with this chick in my bed?’ Not, ‘Wow, look at this extremely hot chick in my bed. I better shoot her.’ It just doesn’t make sense unless he really is crazy.”
It is believed that the judge presiding over the trial, Judge Thokozile Masipa, has the same thoughts about men who kill their extremely hot girlfriends and/or wives, and ordered Oscar Pistorius to undergo daily outpatient evaluations at a psychiatric hospital for one month.
“I think they [the doctors] will come to the same conclusion as I have. Oscar Pistorius is out of his mind for killing Reeva,” explained Emmerlan. “I can’t even imagine how crazy that would be for me, and I have both my legs.”
Reeva Steenkamp was unavailable for comment on her own hotness although, as a corpse, she is still considered ‘hot’ according to Emmerlan.